Thursday, April 8, 2010

Look out...she's on her soapbox again!

Adultery. Cheating. Affairs. Whatever label you put on seems to have become a laughing matter in light of all the celebrity scandals lately. I can honestly speak from experience that it is NOT a laughing matter, and I feel sorry for these woman who are having to live out their shame and embarrassment on the covers of magazines and in the media. (and yes, I know that is a price they pay.) But, the people who make insensitive comments like "well, if she'd been taking care of her man at home, then he would'nt have had to...." You know what I say to that? If HE had spent as much time and energy with his WIFE as he did his "girlfriends" then they probably wouldn't be in this situation in the first place!!! I know that everyone has different circumstances, but marriage is supposed to be a sacred vow. It is supposed to mean something and it doesn't seem like it does much anymore. When people get married, you are promising to love, honor and cherish that person forever. To have an affair is the ultimate betrayal against your spouse. I cannot even explain the pain it inflicts upon the faithful spouse. I cannot even begin to describe the mind games it plays on the faithful spouse. You want to know, yet you don't want to know. It is not a laughing matter or something to joke about. It is real people's pain. Behind every cheating spouse, there is someone hurting. I just cannot wrap my mind around why it has become such common place for people to have affairs. It infuriated me before my first husband cheated during our marriage. It infuriates me even more now because I have experienced first hand the pain that goes along with someone making that choice. It is so hard to put into words the emotions that go along with finding out your husband has cheated. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It is difficult for anyone to truly 'get' a situation unless you have lived it. So, all I ask is don't try to pretend you know what you would do in that situation and tell the faithful spouse or judge the faithful spouse on what they should do. Let them decide for themselves and then support them. Don't gossip and spread their pain. Don't make light of painful situation. Someone has lost trust in their best friend. Someone is crying themselves to sleep at night wondering where things went wrong. Someone wonders if they will ever trust again. Someone is asking why?

**Disclaimer: Yes, I know women have affairs too. But obviously my experience was with a man having an affair and that is all that seems to be the talk in the media lately.
**Note: This post has nothing to do with Kevin. He IS my everything! :-)


Lindsey said...

Well said!!!!!!!! I'm guessing you are talking mostly about Tiger...right?

Lori said...

And stupid Jesse James! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Rant on! You are completely and totally right!!

Tasha said...

Right on!