Thursday, July 1, 2010

The latest ride....

**WARNING: This is probably considered one of those TMI - women's only posts. You've been warned!**
I have to start by saying this just doesn't even seem fair! I haven't said anything about the recent emotional roller coaster we have been on because we really were hopeful that we were finally pregnant. But our hopes came crashing down around us today. We have literally been on pins and needles or anxious for the past two weeks. Basically, at 37 years old, I seem to have skipped my period for the first time in my life. The one sign of being pregnant that makes you build up your hope, and I can't trust it anymore. Just great! I am on day 40 today and have gone broke buying pregnancy test after pregnancy test. I have tested every other day and they were all negative. But they aren't 100% accurate and lots of women are pregnant and get negative home tests. Since that monthly visitor wasn't making an appearance, there was definite hope. After two weeks though, (and a phone conversation with a nurse that shouldn't be working in an ob/gyn office), I was about to lose it if I didn't know one way or the other. So, yesterday, I went to the doctor and had my blood drawn for a blood test. They called with the results today and the wait is over. Once again, we aren't pregnant. And now, I have no idea WHEN I am supposed to start, WHEN I am supposed to ovulate, and I have no clomid in my system. The roller coaster continues...We are now in month 16 of trying. I am starting to seriously question if this is in His plans for us. I want off the roller coaster...I never have liked them!

2 comments:

Becca B. said...

My heart is breaking for you both, praying for you guys.

Miss seeing you, too.

Lindsey said...

Praying for the both of you and your future family:)