Thursday, June 28, 2012

This is one of my favorite pics from when they were younger!!  So sweet! :)  
Today our Stella girl is 3 years old.  Already!!!  Our furbabies are our kids and we can't imagine life without them!!  Stella can be a bit of a challenge sometimes because ultimately she wants to be the only furkid and she really would like someone to play fetch with her 24/7.  :)  But, she tolerates her brother and sister and can manage to toss the tennis ball for herself when no one else will!  Seriously!!  I love to give her a hard time (because she isn't a boxer!!!), but I love her!  She is, by far, the smartest dog I have ever had!!  That's for sure.  And, I will never forget the smile on Big Bear's face the night we got her.  Priceless!
Happy Birthday Stella Blue!


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

It's hot!!

Love how these two cool off! :)

Monday, June 25, 2012

It's the little things...

Our poor doggie door was worn OUT!  And, you had to take the whole doggie door apart to change the flap.  So.....
... naturally, I decided to get a whole new back door complete with a professionally installed doggie door!!  I wanted the built in blinds at the top as well to help block out the sun on really hot days and for some privacy. 
We basically had a big hole in our backdoor just letting all the AC and heat out and all the flies IN!
Now, I have a new back door with built in blinds to lower at the top when I want and a nice clean, easy to change flap on the doggie door!  Yay!!  Thanks Big Bear and summer school money.  Now, anyone want to paint it????!!!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Boxers in the Rock

This boxer got her toes done and everything for the big event!!
Saturday was Boxers in the Rock, BoxAR Rescues biggest fundraiser of the year.  Usually we donate BBQ and I work the whole day, but this year, they found a corndog guy, and I got to go and have fun with the pups!  I loved it!!  The silent auction and the contest kept Big Bear happy.  :)
Above is my friend's dog, Boone, making a new friend in a 6 month old mastiff mix pup!!  That dog is going to be BIG!  It was HOT!!!  So they had misting tents set up and swimming pools for the doggies.  After seeing this picture, I think Mommy and Daddy aren't the only ones that need to lose a little weight around here!!! :)
 Contest Time!! First contest of the day.  Dare we enter a lab in a contest at a boxer party?  Oh, we dared!

Music played and when the music stopped, you had to make your dog sit without touching them.  Voice command only.  The last dog to sit is out.  See the white dog?  It's deaf and had excellent hand signal obedience, I totally had him pegged to win.

 But, the white boxer came in 3rd, the brindle boxer 2nd, (I think Rex was 4th or 5th) and guess who won?  Stella!!!  Bring a lab to a boxer party, and she shows them all how to sit!!  She won quite the basket of goodies and Kevin may have sang "We are the champions" all afternoon!!!
Checking out her winnings! :)

 The kids made a new friend in Boone.  We think we'll have him over for a play date soon! :)


 This cutie right here is up for adoption.  And, Big Bear and Rex fell in love.  We almost brought him home!!  He was so cute and playful!!
 And how funny is it that Stella won a "I love my Boxer" magnet? haha!
 Stella's haul!!  They are loving the new toys!!  One is a floatable toy for when we go to the lake.  The tennis ball squeaks so Rex is obsessed with it and driving us crazy! ha!!
Tuesday I get to pick up all my winnings from the silent auction!  Can't wait to see what we scored there!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Thought for today...

It's been a week of STRESS!!!  And, as you know by my earlier admission, I have had some anger issues lately and neglected my Bible Study.  The Holy Spirit lead me back to my "Battlefield of the Mind" study by Joyce Meyer.  It was right here all the time.  This is what I need right now.  


From today's study:  Discouragement destroys hope, so naturally the devil always tries to discourage us.  Without hope we give up, which is what the devil wants us to do.  The Bible repeatedly tells us not to be discouraged or dismayed.  


When discouragement or condemnation tries to overtake you, examine your thought life.  What kind of thoughts have you been thinking?  Remember you become what you think.

Psalm 42:5

New International Version (NIV)
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Father/Son

I am pretty sure a father/son golf tournament was the perfect father's day for these two!  And yes, Kevin is the milkman's kid! ha!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Thought for today...

Standing up for what is right isn't always easy, but it's the right thing to do!

Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Plans

I'm really starting to think my husband is on to something by not being a "planner".  I mean, a person can plan and think they know what is going to happen and wham!  Something comes along and messes it all up and you are back to square one.  Or scrambling to figure out what to do.  We were planning Thursday night to go watch one of my kids play baseball and someone hit an utility pole and power lines were down across the ONLY road leading out of our neighborhood.  So much for those plans.  And, I hate telling a child I will do something and then not follow through.  We sat trapped without power from 5:30 pm to 10:00 pm.  And that's just one example of "best laid plans".  So many things happening that I couldn't possibly cover it all.  Some I can't really broadcast on the internet (gasp!).  Shocking, I know, since I broadcast most of our life on here, but this is job related.  Let's just say I am at a cross roads there.  Oh, what to do, what to do.  Then, we were thrown another curve ball last night that fired up the 'ole anger from the post below.  Oh the unfairness of it all.  But, I am going to try tomorrow to be POSITIVE and think HAPPY thoughts and teach my summer school kiddo's.  Positive is the theme for the week.  Wanna place bets on how long it lasts amongst all the current drama? ha!
PS.  I did get to go watch my student play ball on Saturday so all is good on that front! :)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Keeping it Real

*Warning: This is not for gossip or for judging.  This post is a glimpse inside my head and heart as I try to come to terms with a tough life circumstance.  I can't talk about it.  I can work things out by writing.  If it helps only one person, that is a reason for this post.
No fluff...real deal.  Here is where I am at and have been for about a month.  I am over the sadness and depression.  Now, I am just plain mad.  Seriously!  I just don't GET it. It makes ZERO sense to me that someone who smokes pot every day can have a kid but I can't.  It makes ZERO sense to me that someone who abuses the children they have now can get pregnant yet AGAIN, but I can't.  I could go on and on...but I won't.  I KNOW I'm not supposed to look at other people's journeys.  I KNOW I'm not supposed to judge.  I KNOW all that.  But, I'm not giving fluff.  I'm being real.  I don't get it and I'm quite frankly pissed about it.  I know we aren't perfect but I also know we have a lot of love to give and would make good parents.  But right now, I am trying to make peace with the fact that we won't be.  I know there are other options for us but we have been through enough.  We are not about to go through the heart ache of adoption or fostering.  If years from now when our hearts are healed, we feel the call, then we will.  But now, NO WAY!  
My battle with all this is really affecting me spiritually.  I knew I was mad when I stopped doing my Bible study.  I usually do Bible Study every night.  Not once in the past month.  Just being honest here.  I read my Daily Bread before I get out the car each morning.  Hoping for a word.  Something to help me make sense of it.  Yesterday I read about unanswered prayers.  I read about how I am supposed to keep praying.  I read that delay doesn't mean no.  Maybe it just isn't time.  Oh, I can't open my heart back up to that possibility. I have to shut this down.  The hurt is too intense to keep wanting and not having it.  The disappointment is overwhelming.  It is all consuming.  I can't keep praying for a child.  Then, I remember God gives us the desires of our heart. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.  I can't help but say "not always".  Someone help me with this.  Please!!  And, please don't say He will change the desire of your heart to be what He wants.  I cannot let myself think that my God would take someone who didn't think they were going to be able to have kids (think lonely marriage, not ideal for family, divorce in early 30's, remarried in mid-30's).  I thought kids weren't in the cards for me.  Why would He let the deepest desires of my heart become a possibility?  Why let me think maybe I would get to be a mom and then take it away?  Why let me get my hopes up that I would have a family and then tell me no?  Why give me the desire in the first place?  I may be mad but I don't want to think God would be cruel.  I just can't make sense of any of it.  I kept thinking someone would eventually say something that would make sense to me.  It would "click" why God would deny this for us.  No such luck.  I am still lost.  Is it bad that when I watched a video of a cardboard testimony, there were two infertility couples in the video that are pregnant after years of trying and it didn't give me joy.  I literally thought, "doesn't happen for everyone."  When someone has a baby and says "God has really blessed us.  He is good."  I think "not everyone. Why do they get their blessing but I can't have mine?"  Oh, it's ugly.  I know.  But I have so much anger and disappointment right now, I can't even feel ashamed of my thoughts.  I just keep looking for an answer that will help make it all make sense.  I don't think I'll ever have it.  I just have to make peace that some people get to have kids that will neglect them, give them away, ignore them, put them in danger, but I don't get to have one. period.  
Today, in reading my Daily Bread, I came to the conclusion that I am looking for my answers in all the wrong places.  No matter how mad I am, I need to get back in my Bible.  My answers are there.  I have stopped trusting.  And, that, I think is the root of my problems.  Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.  My trust has wavered.  I can't help but feel I am a disappointment in that in a time of great distress for me, I let my faith waver.  I didn't keep standing and believing in Him.  Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  I am weary.  I am burdened.  Tonight I will get back in my Bible.  I will try to understand and let go.  If I never understand, I will try to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  
Keep praying for us please.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Summer School...

 It's not quite going like it normally does.  BUT, I'm POSITIVE that after this first week with the kids, it will settle into a good routine.  Just pray that they can hire another last minute teacher.  Those of us teaching the older kids have WAY more kids than we are supposed to have.  It's hard to make a big difference in a short amount of time when there are too many students.  The biggest impact comes from smaller groups.  I'm going to THINK POSITIVE!! :)
I will say I like getting off work at 1:30 in the afternoon!!!  So much more time with the family, and I actually have time to read and do stuff around the house.  hmmmm!!!
I leave you with these pictures of Rex from tonight.  I mean, the dog can be so strange sometimes! ha!  He was fascinated with this bug and at times was crying while watching it.  Sometimes we just sit and laugh at him. He's a mess!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Nala

I knew it was coming.  She is almost 16 years old...today the vet called with the results from all the bloodwork.  Now, on top of the diabetes, we are battling kidney disease.  If we can keep weight on her and keep her feeling good, we will probably have a year left together.  The insulin is under control, which is a good thing.  Now, we've just got to keep her eating and happy.  It's never easy when the furkids start getting old.  I just want her to be pain free and for ME not to be selfish and know what to do and when.  She is my baby girl.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Weekend





Friday, we went out to dinner and played a round of putt putt golf.  Kevin has a golf tournament coming up and needed to practice his putting.  Imagine his face when on the first hole I made a hole-in-one!!  And, then on a tough hole, he gave me a pointer and I tried to follow it and made another hole-in-one!  I messed up on a couple though and lost by 6 points, but that's pretty good for a non-golfer! :)
Saturday, we did a lot of relaxing (i.e. reading for me) and then we took the dogs to the dog park.  Now that was interesting!!  We weren't sure what they would do.  There were about 20 dogs there and Stella isn't always Miss Sociable. She did great!!  Rex is usually a bolter and will take off at the drop of a hat, but he didn't run one time!! Now, he certainly proved he MUST be hard of hearing.  I mean, I'm sure he wasn't IGNORING me when I would call him back! haha!  It was fun and we'll go back more often.  
Today, we had a family day at my Bubby's for his 35th birthday.  So, it was a weekend full of activity but no drama, fun, relaxing and family filled.
Oh, and we started off the weekend by paying off a bank loan.  And, I'm about to pay off another credit card!!!  Yippee!!  Slowly but surely, we will get out of debt and everytime something disappears, it gets me one step closer to my big camper!!!! :)




Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Summer nights...

What I love most about summer nights is the relaxation and no stress over papers to grade!!!  Even teaching summer school, it is so much more relaxed.  My day was finished by 1 o'clock today.  I came home and piddled around in my craft room a little, read a little, chilled on the back deck and then went to watch one of my students play baseball.  Perfect night for a baseball game!!  Big Bear and I made a date night out of it. :)  I can't help but stop tonight and wonder about WHY I'm so upset with God over what I don't have when at the same time, I love what I do have.  Does that make any sense?  It's like I do appreciate what I have but can't understand why I can't have it all!!  I guess that is the human nature coming out.  Deep down we all want it all.  Right?  After listening to some of the Mom's at the ballpark and their crazy schedules, I'm thinking maybe I need to just be satisfied and that not having kids may not be such a bad thing after all!!! 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Maze Runner trilogy

#16 & 17
I finished my latest trilogy.  If you liked The Hunger Games, I recommend this one!!  Once again, I really, really liked the first one and it got me hooked.  Then, I didn't enjoy the second one as much, but I had to know how it all ended.  I ended up really liking the 3rd one.  So, don't give up on the series if you don't enjoy the second one as much as the first.  


For a review go here and see if you are interested. Review Here

Monday, June 4, 2012

Just a few more...

More blooms as promised!!  This is my favorite time in the backyard!!  The cannas along the back fence are now blooming.  I have yellow and orange.  If anyone has some of another color they want dug up, I'll happily come dig and take them off your hands!! :)  See that hole in the middle of the ones above...unfortunately, that is where Stella's tennis ball lands a lot.  I'm pretty sure they will be fully trampled down soon unless my aim gets better! ha!


 Nala loves to come outside with us and take naps.  I love that she doesn't go outside unless we are with her.


 These are my favorite daylillies & I have some that need a new home.  If you want, come dig! :)
Glad for the rain today to help keep my plants pretty even longer!!



Sunday, June 3, 2012

Weekend Wrap Up!

Day 1 of my summer break was Friday.  What did I do?  I worked for Big Bear in the concession wagon and we got SLAMMED like NEVER before.  We had to shut down temporarily and go get more food!!! That's how INSANE it was!!  So, I worked from 7 am until about 8 pm for Big Bear.  Then, like we needed more on our plates, we decided to get a home alarm installed.  They were here until 11:30 pm!!!  I was a walking zombie and could feel every muscle in my aching body!!!
Day 2 of summer break.  Repeat of Day 1.  Except we were ready!!  It went mucho smoother!!!  We had record sales this weekend.  And, it was our final weekend for awhile, so today we rested.  We treated ourselves to a nice lunch at P.F. Chang's and then napped like there was no tomorrow!!  
Once it cooled down, we retreated to the backyard where we spend most of our evenings being entertained by the furkids.  There is no better feeling to me than being in the backyard with Big Bear, the pups, & Nala.  It's my favorite place to be.  Super peaceful tonight, lots of laughs provided by Rex, and a nice cool breeze with the Hogs playing baseball on the radio.  Ahhh!!  
And because I just know you love my dogs as much as I do.  For your entertainment: (I mean, poor Rex, most of the time, he doesn't even try to play when we play fetch with Stella.  But when he does, you are guaranteed laughter.  The boy can't catch anything and falls down.  It hits him in the mouth and he still misses. haha)