Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I'm adorable and I know it! :)

 10 months - he is adorable and he uses it to get out of all the trouble he gets himself AND his brother into!!!

Monday, April 29, 2013

Two days in a row!!

Today was a good day and provided me with some answers I have been praying for!  Thank you to all who prayed with me and for me today.  Details as to HOW our prayers were answered will come out soon!  Promise!!
Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.

In other news today, Nala went to the vet (emergency trip for seizures) on Friday and we lowered her insulin.  After taking only one shot on Saturday, Sunday and today, she went back this afternoon and her levels looked good.  So...we are lowering the insulin to once a day!  Yay!!  And, she goes back in two weeks for another check.  She may not like anyone else, and no one else may like her, but I sure love this cat! :)

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Catching Up of sorts...

I haven't been as good about blogging lately.  Couple of excuses - one, I am on my ipad more than my laptop and it is a pain to blog from there.  Lame excuse, I know.  And, I am trying to work some things out in my head and heart and come to some sort of decisions before I start sharing with the world wide web.  There are pros and cons to not being anonymous anymore with ole blog. :)  Anyway - I will try to be better about sharing again.  You have to give me credit that I put most of our life out there for all to see (in hopes our struggles help just one person).  

So....this past week was a bit of a blur and this next week is shaping up to be just as busy.  We started our big concessions job of the year this past weekend.  Today, I can feel every muscle and bone in my body.  My back is SHOT!  I can move a certain way and feel pain shooting completely up my back.  Oh joy!  But, the first weekend was a success in sales and the rain held off.  Big Amen!

Tomorrow is a big day for me.  I am hoping that God is going to show me some CLEAR answers.  I need you to pray tomorrow that I am clearly shown what direction He wants me to move in.  Sorry for lack of details...but more to come later.  Promise.  Just pray that prayer.  He shows me my path.  Thanks prayer warriors!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Is it practical?

The doctor and the physical therapist have both said no heavy lifting.  Bahhaa!!  I honestly gave it a try.  I gave the asking for help for lifting a try.  It's just not practical.  I have a cat that uses cat liter that comes in a 25 lb. to 35 lb. container.  Who goes to the store to buy it? ME!  I have dogs that require food that comes in 40 lb. to 50 lb. bags.  Who goes to the store to buy it? ME!  I needed dirt to fill in all the holes from where Bubba Bear tore up my flowerbed.  That comes in 40 lb. bags.  I am a gardener that mulches....the list is pretty endless.  I am NOT good at asking for help. But, I did and it didn't go well.  I ended up with hurt feelings and heaving 40 lb. bags of dirt to the backyard myself.  Yes, I re-injured my back.  Yes, I am frustrated.  And, then to come home and find out I re-injured myself for nothing was the icing on the cake.  Bubba Bear busted through my fencing to keep him OUT and dug up more holes and dug up ALL 3 azalea's I planted this weekend.  This dog is going to be the death of me!!!  Shock wires are in the very near future for him!!!  I will win the war, but not sure what the compromise is for my back.  Yoga maybe?  I am going to ask the physical therapist on Thursday.
40 sucks!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Chalkboards and Dust

 Saturday night was an on-the-road date night!  First, we headed to Newport for surprise 60th birthday party for my all-time favorite teacher.  I can't put into words the why or what made her stand out to me.  I think it just had to do with WHO she is as a person.  You can't help but love the positive energy and genuineness.  She always made me feel like I could go to her with anything and even though I was a teenager, she took me seriously. (You know teenage drama isn't serious! ha)  I can remember babysitting her kids, her doing my hair and make-up for prom, and her driving to Conway once a week at night to work on her masters in.....wait for it....library media!!  I am honored to have followed in her footsteps and LOVED getting to go and see her and wish her a happy birthday in person!!  And, when I have a library, she is coming to volunteer!  What a fun day that will be! :)
After we left the birthday party, we had to stop at US Pizza.  You can't go to Newport and not eat at US Pizza.  NONE of the other ones are even close to it.  It's funny because we told the waitress the ones in the LR area weren't as good.  Then as we were leaving, we ran into someone else from Conway that had to come get a pizza while in town because the Conway US Pizza isn't as good as the Newport one!  Ha!
Last stop was Autumn's first horse show of the season.  We made it in time for the last two events.  We got to see Speed and Barrels.  And, we found out she placed 1st in poles!!!  Go Cowgirl!!

 Look for more horse show pictures in the future...but we have to get through our concessions season first. Ahhh!!!

Saturday, April 13, 2013


This week was testing week.  During testing week, teachers have A LOT of "think time".  Why?  Because for almost 3 hours a day, all we can do is walk around and around the classroom while the kids take the test.  We can't stop walking, and we aren't supposed to look at the test.  What does that leave?  THINK TIME!  And lots of it.  So, somehow this week, I really pondered where I am in life.  40.  How in the world am I 40?  Where did the time go?  This is definitely NOT where I thought I'd be at 40.  I guess career wise, I am just now starting to be ready to utilize my masters degree and move into a library.  I have updated the 'ole resume'.  Now to wait for the job opening.  Check that off the list.  Personal life?  Wow!  I never imagined at 40 that #1) I wouldn't be a mom.  #2) I'd still be struggling with money. #3) I'd be a little lost as to "who" I am and what my purpose truly is.  Nothing I can do about the mom thing except trust in Jesus.  Money. Urgh!  I get so sick of stressing over it.  I don't even have a goal or desire to be "rich".  I just want to be able to comfortably pay my bills, occasionally take a freakin' vacation, and be able to fix problems or pay for them when they come up.  Solution?  Anyone?  I'm already working two jobs and so is Kevin.  As for #3...I think somehow in the midst of all the infertility struggles, followed by a good year or so of depression, I have lost something along the way.  I know I lost contact with a lot of people (family and friends).  Depression will do that for you. And sometimes, Kevin and I felt we were the only ones we could turn to.  No one else seemed to understand.  But, now we are left trying to figure out where to go from here.  Life without being a parent.  What does it mean for us?  What is our purpose?  I think mine may be wrapped up in my career. I'm not sure.  I'm seeking God's guidance on all the above.  I have realized that most days I don't think about it anymore.  That's good. However, I also know when I am not expecting it, out of the blue, it will hit me like a ton of bricks.  The pain of not getting to be a mom and the absolute unfairness of it all can practically rip your heart to pieces.  But, when I feel myself falling, I have to look up.  I have to remember God has a plan.  I think of all the "testimonies" in my life, this is the one I will struggle with the most.  I am making a promise with myself to continue in my Bible Studies and trusting in Jesus, seeking His guidance in all I do, and doing my absolute best to bring my laughter back and leave my stress behind.

Matthew 6:34 (I need to START with this DAILY!  My life verse!)
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris


I guess I am joining the vampire party a little late, but why not?  I have started the Sookie Stackhouse series (the one True Blood) on HBO is based on.  I just finished the first one last night.  It was entertaining.  Nothing life shattering, but a good read.  For a light read, nothing too intense, this is the series. I will probably read the whole series, but probably not back to back.  We'll see! :)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Book Warning!!

DO NOT ATTEMPT to read Running With Scissors!!  You have been warned!!  I can't believe that anyone read that and thought "let's make it a movie".  HORRIBLE!  I have a hard "abandoning books"...once I start one, love it or not, I usually have to finish just out of curiosity to see how it turns out.  Considering this book had absolutely no plot and I was a little over a third of the way in at 120ish pages, I had no trouble putting it down.  I am taking it to the used book store to trade in tomorrow.  I considered just throwing it away!  Seriously!!  It had zero plot and it was almost like the author just tried to think of what disturbing scene he could throw in next for the shock value.  Some were disgusting.  Some were just disturbing.  And the scary part is it was supposed to funny.  I would share some of the disgust to prove my point, but don't want to land on someone's perverted google feed.  Just do yourself a favor.  Don't make the mistake I did and buy it at yard sale (of a librarian!!) and think it might be a good read.  NOT!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Turn 40...

CRASH!  Everything starts falling apart! ha!
After today's doctor appointment and MORE x-rays, we still think my syatic (sp?) nerve is pinched.  The x-ray showed my lower two vertebrae are too close together and starting to form "spurs" and calcium deposits.  I am now on predizone and muscle relaxers AND start physical therapy.  Fun!  Fun!  Plus, I have to learn to stop doing heavy lifting and major landscaping by myself and ask for help!  Baaahaaahhaa!!  I am really going to TRY though because I am tired of being in constant pain and uncomfortable.  It's not going to be easy with my bull-headed personality! Wish me luck!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Rock the Test!

 Friday was ROCK STAR day!  And, we are ready to ROCK THE TEST this week!!  Last week, the kids got a treat with test taking tips each day and Friday, we had fun with being rock stars ready to rock the test.  We planned an assembly,  had a dance off, played videos that stick in your head all day long (trust me) about "Baby It's the Benchmark" or "Rock that Test" or even the figurative language rap.

I think being a rock star wore me out, because I mostly just talked and ate for scrap night that night and then was lazy and accomplished nothing Saturday (all I accomplished was having a pity party day...we are all allowed one every now and then), and today, I've been sick all day.  Gotta get well before the benchmark or my boss will KILL me! ha!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Boxer Love

The minute Kevin's feet hit the hallway, all three dogs immediately "wake up" and pile on the bed with me.  Then, it's a competition to see who can get the closest to Momma.  The other morning I woke up to this right in my face!  Love it! :)
(Stella pouts when she doesn't win and get the closest, so I am sure she at the foot of the bed waiting to be acknowledged! ha!)

*Tomorrow is ROCK STAR day!!  Get ready for some ROCKIN' pics! LOL!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Weekend and Updates and Such...

We started the weekend by feeding about 200 people on Saturday and learning some valuable lessons about fish fries in the rain.  When Kevin does a fish fry, we cook the fish on site and you get your food hot and ready.  Even with the main cook down at one point, we pulled it off without a hitch.  We had two food lines going and got everyone fed in about 30 minutes.  That's pretty impressive if you ask me. :)  Now, for the lesson.  The fish cooker is on a trailer and has two big propane tanks.  It was raining, so we had to put a tarp over the cooker.  So, about an hour into cooking, Kevin is dizzy and shaking and looks like he is either going to be sick or pass out.  I thought it was the heat from the cooker.  I could see the steam and it getting trapped under the cover.  He was basically standing in a cloud the whole time.  Turns out, the propane fumes were trapped under the tarp with no escape and he was literally "high" from the propane and whatever else comes off that cooker.  Next time we do this in the rain, I guess he will drop fish and walk out from the under the tarp and then go back in...I don't know, but we will definitely problem solve that one!  Everything else was flawless and this job officially gets us out of the red!  Whoop!!

Yesterday was Easter and church was amazing!!!  LOVED the worship service.  Brought me to tears several times.  Then, we watched the conclusion of The Bible series last night.  I just had a good bawl.  I couldn't stop thinking, "He did that for me."  Hard to watch.  Amazed at the love.  He is Risen!!!  

Another fence has gone up around a flowerbed.  I think Bubba Bear is winning the war at the moment, but Momma Bear will win in the end!!  OR ELSE!!!

This week's agenda is getting my kids ready for the BIG TEST next week, getting the smoker fixed (then we'll finally have all equipment back up and running!!!), and trying to sale these darn suburbans that won't go away! ha!  I want them GONE!

Prayer Request:  When you pray for the Benson's this week, pray that God opens the doors He wants open, and closes the doors He wants closed, and that we clearly see the path He chooses for us.