Saturday, August 15, 2015

Reflections of a donkey mom :)

This morning I woke up at 6 am because we had to go get in line for a Sam's Club VIP sale (they had a laptop marked down by $230 and this one is 6 years old and on its last leg).  So basically I am up earlier than I'd like for a Saturday morning and I always look outside first to see if I can see the donkeys.  This morning, this is what I saw first thing...my donkey babies, just chillin' in the front yard. :)
On the way to Sam's I couldn't help but think, "This is it.  This is my greater yes!"  After 10 years of what seemed like one struggle after another - divorce, depression, Kevin's alcoholism, infertility, depression, & ultimately finding out we can't have kids - I think I am living my greater yes!  I remember in one of my Bible Studies by Beth Moore reading a quote that went something like this "If you have ever wanted something so badly that you thought your heart would break if you didn't get it, and God said no.  He has a greater yes in store."  I am finally at peace with not having kids.  Most times I look at it as a blessing. :)  Don't get me wrong, there are still times it sneaks up on me and I am saddened, but for the most part, I am okay.  We actually had the chance to adopt a newborn not very long ago, & after praying about it, we said no.  I think having that chance, helped to bring us closure.  We at least got a chance, but we didn't feel like that was what God was calling us to do.  I am not sure what direction he is taking us.  I know that he has lead Kevin to feeding the homeless & missions and me to teach teenage girls the Bible, but I'm certain He has more plans in store that we just don't know yet.  
I am just grateful that we followed a dream of ours, which was to have land.  It was a huge leap of faith, because we aren't rich by any means and to keep TWO mortgages was definitely a leap of faith!!  I know that God's hand was in this move because I can't help but praise Him when I walk around outside in His beauty is everywhere.  I know I am in the right place when doing simple tasks like mowing the yard, I am thinking, " I am living my dream."  Yes, some people might think I'm crazy, but I think this farm is my greater yes!  And, I praise Jesus daily for it!  I know we will have other struggles to come...struggles help us keep our faith strong because we have no choice but to rely on God...but I am beyond grateful for our little refuge from the world.

1Thessalonians 5:18 'Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus'
John 16:33 'I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart, I have overcome the world.'
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," said the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

1 comment:

Vader's Mom said...

I needed to read this today. Thank you!