Second Chances

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

2012-01-26T20:38:00.002-06:00

#3

Grade: A+

I honestly was prepared not to like this book. It's out of my norm, but I couldn't put it down!!! It consumed me for 3 days!!!! Yes, a first! I read a book DURING THE SCHOOL WEEK in 3 days! Why? Because this book makes you want to take off work, so you can just stay home and read it! I can't wait to get to Barnes and Noble to buy book #2 and 3 in the trilogy!! It's been fun to share with my kids at school too. One of my students is almost finished with book 2 right now, and daily we check in to see where we are & others have caught the excitement!

Here's a summary from online. If you haven't read it, check it out!! (even if you don't think you'll like it from the summary, because I didn't think I would but I tried it anyway)

The Hunger Games (2008) is the first book of the wildly popular trilogy of young adult novels from author Suzanne Collins. The series is set in the country of Panem, a post-apocalyptic version of North America. Every year the government in the Capitol organizes an event known as the Hunger Games: a bloody, gladiator-style fight-to-the-death battle between 24 randomly-selected teenagers from the oppressed Districts of Panem. To top it all off, the carnage is broadcast live on television – as entertainment for the residents of the Capitol and a reminder to the residents of the Districts of the totalitarian government’s ultimate power.

With all the violence and gore and killing of people on live television, these books have been nothing less than a best-selling sensation. The second novel of the trilogy, Catching Fire, was published in 2009, while Mockingjay, the final installment of the series, was released in August of 2010. The books read like a fast-paced movie, and from all the hype we’ve heard about them, this series might just be the next Twilight (but with better fight scenes).

In the first book of the trilogy, The Hunger Games, we meet our heroine and protagonist, Katniss Everdeen. An experienced hunter, Katniss is a killer with a bow and arrow from District 12, a poor coal-mining region in the country of Panem. Katniss is a tough-as-nails survivor with a rebellious streak a mile wide (assets in the Hunger Games, needless to say.)

The other lead character we meet in the first book is Katniss’s co-tribute from District 12: the charming baker’s son, Peeta Mellark. Unlike Katniss, Peeta is a bit of a softy, is great at decorating cakes, and is very much infatuated with his co-tribute, Katniss. That’s, of course, where things get complicated: Katniss and Peeta begin to play up an on-camera romance between the two of them in order to win over the audiences at home and gain sponsors. While playing star-crossed lovers for the camera proves to be a powerful and effective strategy – what exactly happens when those cameras stop rolling? When the stakes are high as they are in The Hunger Games, it’s difficult to tell what’s real and what’s not.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-25T20:35:00.003-06:00

"Hey, my name is Caleb! Wanna be friends?"

The Next Thing on My List by Jill Smolinski

2012-01-23T16:40:00.002-06:00

#2

Rating:B

This isn't the type of book I usually read, and it took me a bit to get used to the style of writing. It's written in a way that almost makes you feel like you are just having a conversation with your best girlfriends. It turned out to be a really good, fun light read. I am trying to branch out from my regular mystery novel. After about the first 40 pages, I really got into it.
Here's the gist of what it is about:

Meet June Parker. She works for L.A. Rideshare, adores her rent-stabilized apartment in Santa Monica, and struggles with losing a few pesky pounds.

But June’s life is about to change.

After a car accident in which her passenger, Marissa, dies, June finds herself in possession of a list Marissa has written, “20 Things to Do By My 25th Birthday.” Even though they barely knew each other, June is compelled by both guilt and a desire to set things right and finish the list for Marissa.

The tasks before her range from inspiring (Run a 5K), to daring (Go braless), to near-impossible (Change someone’s life), and as June races to achieve each goal before the deadline, she learns more about her own life than she ever bargained for.

Weekend News!!

2012-01-22T17:55:00.002-06:00

What happened this weekend besides going to an all-you-can buffet on Friday night and eating so much (including TWO cinnamon rolls!!) that it completely counteracted how good I've been trying to be?!? Well, Saturday morning, I think I was still reeling from all the food the night before!! ha!
But the rest of the weekend held Upward volunteering and caterings. And apparently my mom added a new four-legged friend to our family!!! Meet Chester:
And, Miss Grace who has been fostered by my mom, got to go to her new furever home today! yay!! She is such a good girl!
And, I finished the book I was reading (book review tomorrow) and am about to start The Hunger Games from my winning trip to Barnes & Noble this week! Hello - $25 gift card + 25% off for teachers!! Yippee!
And, that pretty much wraps up our excitement! Oh, and I finally caved and got on pinterest!! Yikes!!!!!!!!!!
PS. The dog video has been repaired in the post below! :)

Difference between labs and boxers...

2012-01-19T19:31:00.005-06:00

Just watch in about 40 seconds, this video explains it all!

Rex may not be able to CATCH the ball or FETCH the ball, but that doesn't mean he that he doesn't LOVE the ball! ha! And yes, that is the shape the ball is in after about 10 minutes!!!!!!!!!!

Kill Me if You Can by James Patterson

2012-01-17T20:19:00.002-06:00

#1
Rate: D
Book 1 of the New Year was a big flop! This may be the worst James Patterson I've ever read. It started off good, but went sour fast. There was one plot twist that was totally bogus. And, one part that was just unnecessary. It was confusing because it started out in first person and switches between being first person and not. The only reason I didn't abandon reading this book was because it was my first read of the new year!!! I'm not disappointed often in Patterson, but if you are a fan, this one is a skip it!

It seems I am not alone in my opinion. Here is a review from goodreads.com:

Cameron's review

Oct 24, 11

Read in October, 2011

This book has made me reconsider a lot of things in my life.

First of all, it has made me look at all of the other books that I have given a one-star rating too. Yeah, The Shack was bad, but was it THIS bad? It has also made me think of how many people might be out there reading books like this, or any other books which appear to have been written as a sixth-grade writing assignment, and live to turn the pages and get wrapped up in the action. It makes me immeasurably sorry for them. It has also made me think about what kind of money I could be making if I got into writing a brainless book over the course of a weekend. Or, better yet, have someone else entirely write the book and put my name on it and slap a picture of me looking rather smug and dapper with a really nice watch on the back cover. It has made me consider what watch I want to display when I am rich and famous.

There are many things that can be said about this book, but none of them should be said. It probably shouldn't exist. The fact that it does leaves me and Faulkner weeping for the future.

It is typefaced in 24 point font. It has over 100 chapters, none of which extend beyond four pages. There is also no purpose to the chapters other to advance the reader along so that they feel a sense of accomplishment in what must be their very dreary, multiple-cat-filled lives. It is written in first-person narrative, but then it is not, but then it is again. There are uncomfortable sex scenes strewn throughout. Mostly uncomfortable because I am pretty sure that whoever wrote them had not yet experienced sexual intercourse. It might be cliché to talk about how writing is cliché, but this shit is cliché. Like, laughably so. A bag of diamonds. A bag of DIAMONDS! A Russian bad guy. A Russian bad guy named CHUKOV! The level of corporate sponsorship is astounding. Since when were novels used to hock products. "Since now, bitch!" says Patterson, proud supporter of Tom's of Maine (it keeps my breath fresh for hours). It is ridiculous. It is senseless. It is drivel.

And it is genius.

Tag Heuer. I will wear a Tag Heuer watch. And, my novel will be about a professional killer... named Tag Heuer. Watch out, Patterson!

3 day weekends ROCK!

2012-01-16T18:56:00.005-06:00

I am super grateful for this 3 day weekend because I needed today to recover from running on GO all day Saturday and Sunday!! It was good busy though!! Saturday started with an AWESOME yard sale of only scrap & craft stuff!!! Woohoo! 10 tables in a rented building selling their stuff. Score on the bargains!! I think I shopped for nearly 2 hours and only spent about $20!! Plus, I got some cool craft ideas. Check them out below:
Some will be used for an upcoming craft women's event at church, some you can expect as gifts, and some I plan to make some with a dog theme and give to BoxAR Rescue to sell at their monthly booth at the Memphis Flea Market. Exciting!! See how my new craft room is benefiting others! ha! Here are my scrapbook scores (a nickel a sheet for most of the paper!!!).

So, what did that inspire me to do? You guessed it! Scrapbook!!!
So, here is what I love about blogging the most! All my scrapbook journaling is DONE! Once I get ready to do a page, I go back to the blog post and pretty much copy/paste into word, put a cute font on it and print on vellum. Journaling is done!

The rest of Saturday held volunteering for Upward Basketball at church and doing a home visit for BoxAR rescue. And, as a result of that home visit, Grace (the one my mom is fostering) has a new home! woohoo!
Sunday held church, a visitation for a family friend, Memphis Flea Market to see BoxAR's booth, and a meeting with some women at church to get some women's ministry going at our church. Whew! I was one tired puppy after all that!
Today, I graded papers and finished the disappointing book I was reading (more that tomorrow!).

Jax painting!

2012-01-12T21:24:00.004-06:00

My painting of Jax is all done!!! This is a picture of it that she sent me with her phone. She says it's even better in person. I can't imagine, because it looks pretty awesome to me! Oh, how I will cherish this forever!! My beloved Jax...only just the greatest dog EVER who loved me unconditionally and with all he had. I still miss him!!

A huge thank you to Brittney Turner for painting my boxer boy!

Random Things

2012-01-10T19:55:00.003-06:00

First, MOM LOOK! This is what I did with the other dresser I brought home. I put it in my walk-in closet and it is AwEsOmE!! It holds a lot more than the old Wal-Mart dresser I had in here (that is now in the closet in the craft room holding gift wrap stuff). Anyway - I'm glad I didn't let you put them on a yard sale. I love having them. Thanks!! Makes me want to have more furniture with a story behind it instead of just going to the store and buying it!
And another random thing that mom will love as much as me - my new favorite hot chocolate mug from Santa!!!

In other randomness, I am ready for some snow! This time last year, we were on our first snow, and now we are no where near cold enough. :( I need at least 3 unexpected snow days please!! Anyone know where I put that order in?
And last before I go scrapbook, what do you think of this idea? A flea market with a catering kitchen in the back. I run the flea market and do the books for the catering kitchen. Kevin runs the catering kitchen and caters out of it (obviously) and has a little seating area for shoppers at the flea market!! We want a flea market booth when we retire someday, so this idea was born out of two things we love. We bought a lottery ticket hoping for the start-up money, but no such luck! ha! Seriously though, the more I think about it, the more I like it.
Oh my gosh! I just realized that when we were slow, I could be scrapbooking behind the counter at the flea market! This is such a win all around idea!! Anyone want to fund it? heeehee!

Craft room in the making!

2012-01-08T18:15:00.005-06:00

This room is no where near finished, but over Christmas break, I did get it primed and painted. I also got my scrapbook desk cleaned out and organized, an old dresser from my Mom's moved in, and the closet cleaned out and organized!! Oh, and shelves moved in and filled up! Now, I am looking for a futon or sleeper love seat to add to the room. Then, I can fold it out when we have guests (or when Kevin snores too loud!), but it doesn't take up the room of a regular bed!! Once I get that, I will finish up the walls. I am still looking for just the right thing for here (over the super sweet cricut expression 2!!):
The cool thing about the dresser that the cricut is on is that it was purchased by my Mom waaaayyy back when she first got married to my father, so it has been with us for my entire life - almost 39 years! (gasp!) Anyway - in my parents move lots of stuff had to go and I found a place for this dresser and the one that went with it. Bonus is that my cricut gets to stay out!! AND, all the cricut cartridges live in the top drawer. Each drawer is dedicated to scrapbook materials! Whoop!! I am thinking about stripping it this summer and doing a distressed look. We'll see after I find the right futon/love seat!
Below is the dresser that I moved from my walk-in closet and put in the craft room closet. I bought that at Wal-Mart for a dresser when I was a poor college student for something like $30 and still get use out of it!! I'd say I got my money's worth!!! This is my card and gift wrapping station. It is full of tissue paper, ribbon, gift bags, and all those goodies!
Here is the scrapbook area all open and ready for business. Perfect little nook for me with my cricut handy! See that cute little black sign hanging inside my desk? It says "My husband said it was either him or scrapbooking...I took pictures of him packing and made the cutest pages." Ha!
And when I'm not scrapbooking, I can close it all up:

My first scrapbook page in the new craft room:

My first craft:

Hopefully, I can finish up this room with my birthday money! :)

Before/After (so far) at the Farm

2012-01-04T20:44:00.008-06:00

Over Christmas, we went to my parents new farm and what a difference!! Keep in mind, they have 10 acres, multiple shops, 2 barns and a house they are getting ready to be put on the market in Newport. At the same time, they are trying to get the house in Beebe to be livable, so they can move there and then add-on when they sale the old place. LOTS of work, but I couldn't believe the progress!! And, I admit my first impression was just tear down the old house and start fresh, but it is really shaping up! And the master suite they are adding on will be AWESOME! Anyway...here is some of the work so far. Living area before:

After (with temporary furniture):

Look who else loves boxers!! heehee! This is the wall in the before shot above where the upside down triangle shelf is on the wall:

Bathroom before (the only one until the master suite is added on):

After with an extended sink and new vanity, mirror cabinet and paint does a world of difference:
One of the bedrooms before. I think the window was even broken. It was yucky in there and looked small.
But wow! It fit 2 dressers, a nightstand and a bed with plenty of room left over! Bigger than we thought and the new carpet and fresh paint made a HUGE difference! Go Mom and Dad!!
It pretty much has new floors and paint throughout. The kitchen is still on the to-do list, but that will be a BIG project. It's looking good!!!

Book vs. Movie

2012-01-03T20:07:00.003-06:00

My final book for 2011 was The Help by Kathryn Stockett. And, I can sum that up by saying it is easily the best book I have read in a long time!! I was sitting here trying to figure out which was my favorite character, and it's tough. You just fall in love with more than one and for more than one reason. I admire Miss Skeeter and found myself wondering which character would I have been most like had I grown up during the 60's. I can only hope I would have been like Miss Skeeter and not followed the crowd and realized that the separation between white's and black's was wrong. I loved the sass of Minnie and the warmth of Aibileen. And, then the one you love to hate, of course, is Miss Hilly. For New Year's Eve, we watched the movie, and it followed the book really, really well. There were minor differences because the movie would have just been too long to leave every detail in. The only thing that would be sad about just watching the movie and skipping the book is that you wouldn't get the full character development. You miss the feeling of anxiousness over them getting caught meeting and the inner thoughts of the characters. If you don't read anything else this year, read The Help and then treat yourself to the movie. But if you just can't make yourself sit down and read a book, then definitely watch the movie! You won't regret it!

Resolutions 2012

2012-01-02T19:00:00.003-06:00

I mean, you gotta have 'em, right?
Simple and realistic is the goal. That and getting back to what I love!
So....
I will try to:

give up tv (my goal is to try to only watch 2 hours a week!!) and cut down on computer time. My hope is this is going to give me time at night to read and scrapbook (two things that make me happy!).
pay off at least one debt. (one less worry and a step closer to my big camper!) :)
take the dogs for walks (anything will be more than what they get right now! ha)
find ways to be more involved at church. I want to serve and be the hands and feet of Jesus!

There it is...totally achievable goals! :)

Tomorrow is back to work for me, but this week, I promise to share with you some before/after pics of Mom and Dad's farm and some pics of the craft room progress. It's nowhere near finished yet though!

Good riddance to 2011!

2012-01-01T19:44:00.003-06:00

I know that 2012 is going to be a much better year than this past year. 2011 was full of infertility, disappointments, struggles, and sadness. It ended with us both in a pit of despair, and November 28, 2011 goes down as the day our hearts were shattered to learn that we won't be able to have children of our own. It was an ugly year. I wasn't even sure our marriage was going to survive. I did, however, come to truly appreciate our church family. I realized that in a crisis, we are blessed with a preacher who will drop everything and come over to sit with us and talk and listen. I realized that in a crisis or while going through a trial, I find my strength in my Bible Study. So, the blessing of 2011 is knowing I have an abundance of prayer warriors, an amazing church family, and my faith has grown as well as my marriage. I am sorry you have had to listen to so many down times and struggles lately but am glad you stuck it out with me. 2012 is going to be a good year, and maybe we will get to see my "greater yes".

If you wanted something so badly that you thought it might kill you if you didn't get it, and God said no, there is some huge greater YES! Your purpose is wrapped up in the greater yes." -Beth Moore

Hog Road Trip

2011-12-29T19:20:00.014-06:00

*Ok, you can skim this if you desire. I have to get this all down while I remember it and in order for a scrapbooking idea I have! :)
This trip all started from the idea to put Razorback Basketball tickets in Kevin's stocking. I knew he would love it!! I can watch baseball and football anytime, but basketball, not so much. So, I was glad that I ended up enjoying the trip as much as he did! We wanted to spend some time in Fayetteville remembering our college days. We didn't date in college but we were best buddies. Another story for another day...
The best to relive our college days was to take the Pig Trail to Fayetteville!!
This was the last hour of our drive and when we were in college, we knew every curve before it hit. You knew where you were by the scenery around you. It was GREAT to take the Pig Trail instead of the boring ole interstate drive! We need to do it again in the fall and in the spring when it's even prettier. Although, even in winter, this was beautiful:
After the Pig Trail, we head to my favorite (or most frequent) college place to eat ~ Hog's Breath. It's still there and still has the best and biggest baked potatoes! :)Then, we drove across the road to see my old apartments. College Park. Lots of memories!! I not only lived there, met my best friend and old roomie there, but I worked there for years as a leasing consultant and then an administrative assistant.
Since we saw my old place to live, we had to go see Kevin's next! And, I spent plenty of time there myself.
Right across the street from the Kappa Sigma house, on the sidewalk going to Old Main is my name on the sidewalk! Woohoo! Class of '95!

Then, we walked up and down Dickson Street. Some of it is still the same. I have always loved Dickson Street. But, sadly, a lot of the character and charm of Fayetteville has been lost in the growth. It's still Fayetteville, but not quite as good as it was when I was there. :) I was sad to see that the Berkenstock guy with Flying Possom had passed away and his store was boarded up. :(
After walking around Dickson Street, we walked around campus a little. It has changed A LOT!! Then, we hit the Hog store in the basketball stadium. We loaded up on some new Hog gear!! Always a must! :)
After that, I finally got to go to Sugarbear's!! One of our high school classmates and his wife opened this store and I love all the dog pictures they put on facebook! I got the dogs a treat to bring home from our trip!
And theeennnn, I got to see my favorite little one in the world because he is so darn cute!!! My BFF's baby is just toddling all over the place and still as cute as ever!! (Are you catching just how much we are managing to cram into ONE day?!? ha!)
Next, we decided to check in at our super sweet hotel and freshen up for dinner. We had planned to go out to Tonitown, because that is where I waited tables all through college. But, the restaurant was closed for the holidays. So...we rerouted to The Catfish Hole, BUT we took Hwy. 112 which is the highway I drove everyday to work and back. LOVE that Hwy. It has some big, nice houses on it now, but for the most part, it has remained the same.

Finally, GAME TIME! Relax! We even got to meet up with a high school classmate that we haven't seen since high school! She was there with her son and in the state for the holidays. A nice treat!

We went back to our room after the game and had dessert. We stayed at Inn at the Mill in Johnson. Kevin found us a great deal online. It was very nice!!! Loved it!! Super comfy and just had a lot of character.
Dessert in bed after a Hog win and full day of fun! Yes, please and thank you!
Sadly, we had to get up this morning and head back home. Maybe next time we can stay longer and visit more people and see more things! Hope Big Bear liked his stocking stuffer as much as I did! :)

Christmas Day 2011

2011-12-27T09:07:00.005-06:00

Christmas Day this year started out at church at the midnight candlelight service. It was a little hard to stay up after a long fun-filled family day, but it was totally worth it! No other place I would have rather been! I hope we get to start off every Christmas that way. After all, we are celebrating Jesus!!
After sleeping in a bit, it was time for stocking stuffers and our big Christmas morning breakfast. It is always fun to see what treasures Big Bear has found for me. I think my favorite from this year might be the awesome boxer coffee mug he found. Or, all the cricut cartridges. Tough to decide!! The camping journal for our new big camper (someday) was pretty neat too. Anyway...Big Bear got Razorback Basketball tickets! GO HOGS! And the dogs and Nala were spoiled too. They went so crazy over their first toys, that we had to do their stockings in stages! ha!
After being lazy for a bit and sipping on hot chocolate and coffee and checking out our new prizes, we headed off to Beebe this year!!! How nice to shave off 45 minutes of our drive! Mom & Dad's place is not quite ready, so we met and ate at Bubby's. Then, we headed over to the farm to see the progress. I will HAVE to do some before/after shots later this week to show you the difference. It's going to be awesome! Another good family day! :)

My family ~ 2011

Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks

2011-12-27T09:03:00.002-06:00

#12

I read this for something lighter and heartwarming. Nicholas Sparks is always good for heartwarming! I mean, he did write The Notebook after all! This book surprised me in that I didn't want to put it down. And, I honestly wasn't sure how it was all going to turn out. It certainly turn out like I expected. But I won't say anymore. Except, yes, I did cry! Now, go read for yourself!
Here is more from the Nicholas Sparks website about what it's about:

The Best of Me is the heart-rending story of two small-town former high school sweethearts from opposite sides of the tracks. Now middle-aged, they’ve taken wildly divergent paths, but neither has lived the life they imagined . . . and neither can forget the passionate first love that forever altered their world. When they are both called back to their hometown for the funeral of the mentor who once gave them shelter, they will be forced to confront the choices each has made, and ask whether love can truly rewrite the past.

Christmas Eve Game Day!

2011-12-26T18:31:00.002-06:00

Christmas Eve is the Benson Family Christmas Day for us. Kevin's sister tried out a new tradition this year that we hope sticks. She went and got a bunch of games like Ants in Your Pants, Candy Land, Sorry, & Trouble. We all played games all day and the winner of each game got a prize. Then, at the end of the day, we all bartered for someone else's prize if we wanted it. It was a really fun day! There may have been some yelling and some pouting involved, but it was all in good fun! :)

Have a Howling Good Christmas and Purrfect New Year!

2011-12-23T21:15:00.001-06:00

Therapy

2011-12-22T16:38:00.004-06:00

My idea of therapy is probably very different than most! However, painting this room is a big dose of closure. It has been cleaned out for over 2 years now and ready to be a nursery. My scrapbook desk was the only thing that would have to find a new home. It was bittersweet last night putting the primer on. I always thought when this room was painted again, it would be with the anticipation of a baby Benson on the way. But, that isn't to be...so, rather than keep it ready to become "nursery" (and the dogs room!! They have taken over the twin bed and turned it into a big 'ole dog bed!!), it is becoming my craft room!! Let the crafting begin!
Last night, my emotions were full of anger and sadness while putting the primer on. Sadness of what wasn't to be. Sadness over all the unanswered questions of why? So many things I may never understand. Anger that while I have always tried to do the "right thing" and make the right choices, life just always seems so hard. Doesn't it seem like some people have such an easy walk through life? I am starting to think they just fake it better! And, some of my anger could have been directed at Big Bear who was "busy" playing on the computer instead of helping!!! :)
Today while painting, I tried to use it as my quiet time. Just me and God. And, here is what I got out of my time with Him and letting go of the baby thing. It isn't about what I want or what I dream for my life. It isn't about what I think I should have. It's about what God has planned for me and taking care of and loving what he has already given me. His plans are what I need to start looking for. What does He want me to have and what does He want me to do with my life? I am seeking my purpose and in the meantime, I am going to treasure the blessings I've already been given. I'm going to surrender MY dreams of being a mom and carrying a child, because God has a "greater yes" for me and in that is my purpose. I've just got to be ready to accept it.
*All I need is a second coat, a little laundry work, and some re-arranging! :)

Wordless Wednesday!

2011-12-21T09:54:00.002-06:00

Patterson Books!!

2011-12-21T09:47:00.003-06:00

#10 & 11

Second book read over Christmas break is Kill Alex Cross by Patterson - my all-time favorite book series and did not disappoint! Excerpt from Patterson website:
The President's son and daughter are abducted, and Detective Alex Cross is one of the first on the scene. But someone very high-up is using the FBI, Secret Service, and CIA to keep him off the case and in the dark.

A deadly contagion in the water supply cripples half of the capital, and Alex discovers that someone may be about to unleash the most devastating attack the United States has ever experienced.

As his window for solving both crimes narrows, Alex makes a desperate decision that goes against everything he believes—one that may alter the fate of the entire country. KILL ALEX CROSS is faster, more exciting, and more tightly wound than any Alex Cross thriller James Patterson has ever written!

First book read over Christmas Break is The Christmas Wedding by James Patterson - a nice, light read for the holiday season.
Excerpt from James Patterson website:
The tree is decorated, the cookies are baked, and the packages are wrapped, but the biggest celebration this Christmas is Gaby Summerhill's wedding. Since her husband died three years ago, Gaby's four children have drifted apart, each consumed by the turbulence of their own lives. They haven't celebrated Christmas together since their father's death, but when Gaby announces that she's getting married—and that the groom will remain a secret until the wedding day—she may finally be able to bring them home for the holidays.

But the wedding isn't Gaby's only surprise—she has one more gift for her children, and it could change all their lives forever. With deeply affecting characters and the emotional twists of a James Patterson thriller, The Christmas Wedding is a fresh look at family and the magic of the season.

Just for a laugh...

2011-12-20T16:06:00.003-06:00

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Yep, I'm one of THOSE pet mom's!

2011-12-17T18:40:00.007-06:00

It started out playing with the furkids and realizing I had them all close enough that they could get in the same picture. Success! But then...it sparked an idea!!! :)
We could take pictures in front of the fireplace with the all our stockings!! The dogs were thrilled!! Suddenly, playing wasn't so fun anymore! ha! But, it only got worse for them, because I got another idea!

I mean, if I got all three of them in a picture before, I could totally do it again! Right? We can make this happen!

(Ignore the muddy paw prints on the floor. And note, Stella's new tennis racket in the background that allows me to hit her tennis ball further!) After a little rearranging, we had success again and an even BETTER idea!
Heeheee!! They are THRILLED! Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a Howling Good Christmas and a Purrfect New Year!!!!!! :)

Just a little Saturday night fun! :)

Tis the season!

2011-12-15T20:46:00.002-06:00

Work Christmas Party tonight...lots of laughs. Felt so good to laugh!! Really laugh. Sunday School Party tomorrow night. Oh, and my kiddo's Christmas party at the end of the school day tomorrow. That's always a whirlwind of activity!! I am usually good and exhausted afterward!! I think I am getting in the holiday spirit...about to have two weeks off. I love, love, love going to the mailbox and getting Christmas cards every day!!! One of my favorite parts of the season! Looking forward to going to look at Christmas lights, hot chocolate and Christmas movies. Stuffing stockings. Christmas Eve with family. Church on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning breakfast. Christmas Day with family. Love.
I feel your prayers. Please keep praying. I am looking for the blessings, and today I saw them clearly in all the little things.

Thankful

2011-12-14T20:57:00.003-06:00

Today has been one of those days when I have struggled with the "why's"... the things I'll never understand. After a much needed Bible Study time, I am going to just list some things I am thankful for instead of thinking about anything down or negative.
I am thankful for:
*2 more school days and then a nice vacation!!
*dinner with a cousin :)
*a job that I absolutely love!
*a husband who loves spending time with me
*rotten dogs that jump in the bed with me
*the softness of Nala's fluff!
*quiet time
*our church that has been so supportive to us

Pray that I can focus on the good and find acceptance. Right now, I am struggling by looking at other people's choices (like, child neglect, child abuse, people giving up their kids...I'm sure you get the point) and wondering WHY they get to have kids and I don't. I am sure this is a natural?!? part of the grieving process over this, but I want to be able to accept our path and move forward. Maybe I'm trying to move forward too fast. Maybe I need to slow down and feel the pain a little?!? I don't know...like I said, it's been a weird day. I'm going to put it to bed now and remember tomorrow is a new day. And, like Beth Moore just said, "We don't know what God has in store for us, but we know it will be good."

Date Day

2011-12-11T20:56:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, Big Bear and I took the whole day and had a much needed all-day date! We slept in and then went for a nice lunch at Copeland's. YUMMY!! We went shopping at Petsmart for the furkids Christmas presents. Let's just say that they are going to benefit from us not having human kids!! And, they better not tear up their new dog beds that were still over priced on sale!!! But, I am finding my therapy in spending money I don't have! LOL! After splurging on the furkids, we hit some flea markets and got a few bargains. (Like a $1 tennis racket to hit Stella's tennis ball further into the backyard for her! Score!) We had a nice nap after that and then went and had a light dinner, got a gift for a needy family, and came home to snuggle up for How the Grinch Stole Christmas. All in all, a successful day. Realities of life tried to sneak their way in a few times and ruin our joy, but I reminded myself that God was in control. One day at a time...

Closure

2011-12-01T18:16:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the silence, but we've been trying to find peace and acceptance with the news we got on Monday at the doctor's office. I can say that waiting a few days to share it has given me some time to reflect and be a little less "raw" with my feelings. The details aren't important, and I think the details will stay between me & Kevin. The main thing we got from Monday's appointment is that we will not be able to have children of our own. There. I said it. Well, I typed it. I'm still not sure I can say it. "We are unable to have children." However you want to word it. It's done. The journey came to an end on Monday. I had a nice cry on my way home, but for the most part, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted. This infertility has consumed our lives. It runs your life. Anyone that has gone through it knows. There just isn't a way around it running your world. And since August, I admit, I have been struggling with depression. It has really zapped the fun right out of this house. There has been no laughter. While I was depressed, Kevin temporarily "fell off the wagon" as they say. So, honestly, while it was hard to hear the words. It was also a bit of a relief. Finally, we have an answer. A definite. No more guessing. No more what if's. No more counting days. No more taking in samples and worrying about counts. No more doctor appointments and worrying about hormone levels. No more blood work. No more phone tag with the doctor's office. No more worrying and stressing over how in world we were going to pay for it all. No more!!! I feel like we can get our lives back. Finally. So, there it is. "We are unable to have kids of our own."
At this point, we are trying to just overcome. We are getting our lives back together. We are going to a Christian counselor to help us find acceptance and peace and most importantly our laughter!! I know we will be ok. It's just been a yucky year for us, and I personally will be glad to see 2011 leave. I look at 2012 with hope.
I appreciate each and every prayer. And, I would love it if you would keep praying for us, but in a new direction. Just pray for our peace of mind, acceptance for God's plan for our lives, and for us both to seek God's will in all our decisions. Feel free to share this with anyone you know who has been praying for us. I am so blessed to have so many prayer warriors that I don't even know how to reach them all!!!
I do have a small favor though. While you may want to say something about this to me or Kevin, for now, just leave it be and pray for us. I don't think I can handle talking about it over and over. I'm not there yet. It's only been a few days. And, while it may be tempting to share a story of someone you know who was told they couldn't have kids and then did, don't. Trust me, I've heard them. That is their journey. I need to make peace with mine.
I may not fully understand why this is happening or what God has in store, but I know He loves me and is walking beside me. He has something in store for us that we couldn't possible imagine. I believe that with all my heart.
With Love,
Lori

Happy Turkey Day!

2011-11-24T10:17:00.001-06:00

One down!

2011-11-21T21:01:00.003-06:00

I officially survived family Thanksgiving #1 with a feeling like I had "infertile" stamped on my forehead while walking among the land of the fertile. I think everyone at Kevin's family turkey day gathering either has lots of kids or kids on the way. I may have almost cried once. Or twice. My emotions are too out of whack, and my flight instinct is on high alert. But I was trapped. And, I survived. And, if the thought of grabbing one of the babies and running crossed my mind, that would be perfectly normal. Right? (This is where all infertile people say Yes! Perfectly! And, all the fertile people of the world think I am nuts!) Oh, I would never do it. But cry? Yep, might happen. At the drop of a hat. One of Kevin's cousin's has the most precious chubby baby (the girl version of my BFF's chubby baby). I mean, she is gorgeous!! As we were about to leave, I finally got my chance to hold her and that most precious baby put her head on my shoulder and hugged me. And that's when I almost lost it. Nothing like it. That hug melted my heart. So, naturally, it was time to bolt. :)
Family Turkey Day #2 coming this Saturday. Luckily, my family has less little ones running around. Should be an easier day on the ole emotional roller coaster. One can hope!

Success!

2011-11-16T19:45:00.002-06:00

We declared today "NO cry Benson Wednesday" and had success!! (Well, I did anyway! heehee!)

Police report has been filed on bank mess and all paperwork sent in. My only real frustration with that situation is they may not refund the overdraft fees. Seems a little nuts to me since I didn't freakin' do it! But, whatever. It's NO cry Benson Wednesday, so I'm done with it.

So many frustrations, so little time!

2011-11-15T17:34:00.003-06:00

What's going on here? Well, phone tag has ended. Only because I asked my principal if I could keep my cell phone on me all day. And, they finally called back after the "nice" message I left this morning. That's one week lost to playing phone tag. But who's counting? We are young. We have all the time in the world and a bank account ready to pay for everything. Oh wait! No we aren't! And, no we don't! First available appointment? November 28th. Yep. That's right. So, we still need some eggs and we still need some swimmers. Turns out we get ONE MORE CHANCE to get it right before we pay the big bucks. Pray people PRAY! I would love nothing more than for God to get the glory in all this!! And no one be able to give His deserved glory to the doctors.
So, doctor appointment set. Now, to get this nasty bank account mess settled. Seems somebody (aka jerk, loser, freeloader, thief....) has "lifted" my debit card number. Then, tried to use it at a Wal-Mart in Birmingham, Alabama. Good news is fraud department caught on quickly. Bad news is I was down to my last nickels and cents. They managed to get out $100 and then things bounced and overdraft fees have hit. Doesn't that seem odd that the BANK can catch the fraud but still let it go through and STILL charge fees???? Even though THEY KNOW it is FRAUD!! Yep, tis the days of my life people. So, now that phone tag is over, I get to deal with police reports and trying to get my account back to normal. Did I mention, you have to fill out a police report for the BANK THAT NOTIFIED YOU of the FRAUD? Oh, and now I have no debit card. Good times! Good times!

Infertility update

2011-11-11T17:49:00.002-06:00

Basically, we are still playing phone tag to get our next appointment set. The appointment that tells us WHAT we are going to have to do, HOW much it's going to cost, and what our PERCENTAGES are for success.
According to the nurse who left a message during our game of phone tag, I don't produce as many eggs as I should and we don't have the "swimmers" we need. Sounds discouraging - right?
After living all month down to the last nickel and dime, I am thinking, we might as well throw in the towel. People who live paycheck to paycheck just can't logically afford all this mess. That's where my brain is right now.
I'm just praying for guidance with our decisions.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-09T20:36:00.002-06:00

Never a Dull Moment!

2011-11-08T19:31:00.003-06:00

Just as it started raining here and got dark, Rex started going nuts at the back fence. When I used the flashlight, I couldn't see WHAT it was that had him stirred up. But, I had 3 sets of eyes glowing in the light, so I knew we had trouble. I yelled for Big Bear to help and this is what we found:
Whoever said that possum's play dead was WRONG! GroSS! He was mad and hissing!! Of course, he had two dogs sniffing him and barking, two flashlights on him, a man asking for a shovel to hit him with and a crazy woman with a camera all coming at him! LOL!
He took some good hits with the shovel and then was tossed over the fence. Yep, we are THOSE neighbors! HA! Seriously, I doubt he's dead, so I'm sure he'll be up and roaming in no time. But, thanks for the save Big Bear!! And, Good Boy Rex!! Taking over Jax's old possum huntin' ways, just warms a momma's heart! Who says only labs can hunt?

That's better!

2011-11-07T20:04:00.002-06:00

After two torn up dog beds, Mommy finally got the hint and bought us some new stuff to chew on! Now, we'll be good for sure!!
I mean, can my dog be any cuter? That face melts me every time!

**And, on the other subject, did the doctor call today? No! But are we surprised? No! And, we wait another day. Then, let the phone tag games begin!!!

Bad, BAD doggie!!!

2011-11-06T17:00:00.003-06:00

This dog is a MESS!!! And when he is bad, you know the minute you walk in the door because his guilt shows all over his face! Then, when you discover the mess or whatever he has done, he just falls all over himself apologizing! I really have to get it on video someday!
The twin guest bed in our house is really a glorified dog bed. And, today while we were at church, he decided to de-stuff the bedspread (aka dog bed). Who knows why!?! He de-stuffed one of his real dog beds a few days prior. He's in BIG trouble!!!
I tried to give him a dog bone to show him what he SHOULD be chewing on, but he was still having his pity party from getting in trouble! ha!

Appointment Friday!

2011-11-04T15:43:00.002-05:00

**"Sample" has been delivered. Nothing quite like walking into a doctor's office with a brown paper bag!! Now, we will hear from the doctor on Monday about the next steps. (Not holding my breath on a timely call with the luck we've had in that department, but we'll see!)
***Nala had her diabetes follow-up today. Since she's not a "nice cat", we have to take a different approach than the normal procedure to get their levels correct. They encouraged me to come in with her rather than leave her there all day! ha! I will say, with me there, she did GREAT! I was so proud!!! Not one hiss or spit or fit! She let them draw blood with no drama!! And, we got her a capstar to immediately kill all her fleas. Basically, she got a pill shoved down her throat and just took it like a champ! Awesome! We are doubling the insulin because her levels are still high and we go back in 2 weeks.
Now...to clean house!!!

Answered Prayer

2011-11-03T20:01:00.002-05:00

I have been praying for some time about where to serve in our church. I have met with our pastor several times and explored several options. I just didn't know where I was supposed to serve. Then, another woman talked to our pastor and said some of the same things I had been saying. He put us together and I think I may have an answer! I thought after the Beth Moore Conference in April that it was women's ministry, but wasn't sure how or what to do. Well, we are starting with a Women's Cookie Exchange night. Then, another fun women's activity in January or February. And, then starting a Bible Study. YES!!!!! So excited!!
Plus, I get to do Upward Basketball again. We may be coaching but we may do something different this year (Kevin as a ref and me in the concession stand). Either way, we are serving and helping with Upward. It takes a lot of people to pull off the Upward program. They can never find enough people to cover the concession stand. So, I think I'm pretty qualified for that one! :)

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T18:42:00.000-05:00

We're just waiting on the rest of our Trick-or-Treaters! :)

What I know...

2011-10-30T14:23:00.002-05:00

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial,, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Is it an accident that this was my Daily Bread reading on Friday? I don't believe in accidents or luck anymore. I know all things are guided by God.
I saw another side in David's calm spirit: I am unable to understand all that God is doing in me, and it is impossible to try. David draws a comparison between a weaned child that no longer frets for what it once demanded, and a soul that has learned the same lesson. It is a call to learn humility, patient endurance, and contentment in all circumstances-whatever they are-though I do not understand God's reasons. Divine logic is beyond the grasp of my mind. I ask, "Why this affliction? Why this anguish?" The Father answers, "Hush, child. You wouldn't understand if I explained it to you. Just trust Me!" So, I turn from contemplating David's example to ask myself: Can I, in my circumstances, "hope in the Lord"? Can I wait in faith and patience without fretting and without questions God's wisdom? Can I trust Him while He works in me His good, acceptable and perfect will?

These things I know for sure, you can knock me down, but I don't stay down for long. And, in every instance in my life that has been a trial, I have come out the other side of it stronger. How we handle trials in life make us into who we are. My faith has been tested lately. But, the devil cannot win. I know that Jesus has been carrying me lately and hasn't let go. I will continue to seek His guidance and do my best to follow.

I surrender!

2011-10-27T19:38:00.001-05:00

I seriously cannot win for losing! I give up! It is one craptastic thing after another!!!!

Today I am thankful ...

2011-10-25T21:22:00.002-05:00

...for friends who are willing to let us inside their most private and personal journey to show us the IVF ropes. My mind is still reeling from actually seeing all the medicine, shots, and schedules. But, even after all the scary needles and realizations of just how life consuming this will be, I know we have to do it. We were both sort of having our doubts, thinking we couldn't handle it emotionally and/or financially. But, deep down, I know I have to "buck up" and do it. If I don't, I will always wonder "what if". I feel a little more prepared for what lies ahead after tonight. Praise Jesus for friends who are willing to share their story. :)

Today I am thankful ...

2011-10-24T20:33:00.002-05:00

...for another medical bill that only came to $13 and some change! Let's keep this line of billing going!!
...for blogs like this one: 999 Reasons to Laugh . You really must check it out. Especially if you are struggling with infertility!!

Today I am thankful ...

2011-10-23T17:35:00.002-05:00

...for our church. I love our church family! I love that I have a preacher that is so approachable and knows me when I walk in the door. I love that I feel like I can talk to him about anything. I hate that when our hearts are hurting, he hurts too. But, I love that he cares about us that much.
...for a husband who was asked to teach our Sunday School class today. So proud of him!
...for a clean garage!!! I can't believe we finally cleaned it! It's amazing what you can do when are stuck at home because you have no money! HA!
...the laugh I got when I heard Rex bark from the back of the house and then cry and run. As I see him running down the hall, Nala is on his heels in fast pursuit! She chased him until he fell over at the ottoman and then proceeded to slap him a few times. Not sure what he did to start it, but I wish I had it on camera! He looked scared to death and she was MAD!

Today I am thankful ...

2011-10-22T11:09:00.002-05:00

...for a medical bill that was only $3 and some change! I can handle that one!
...that Nala is still taking her insulin shots like it's no big deal.
...for being able to sleep in with Big Bear.
...for the laugh Rex gave me this morning when he couldn't wake us up to feed him. He resorted back to his dumpster diving days and decided to "clean" up last nights dinner plates. (He got in trouble before I laughed and went back to bed!)

Today I am thankful ...

2011-10-20T19:09:00.002-05:00

...that I have no idea what it feels like to go to bed hungry. As strapped for cash as we get at times, we are always able to pay our bills and have food on the table. Thank you Jesus for always providing for our needs.

I am thankful for friends who send me verses like this: (I've read it numerous times in the past week!)
Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, He remains faithful to us and will help us, for he cannot disown us who are part of Himself, and He will always carry out His promises to us.
II Timothy 2:13

Just some thoughts...

2011-10-19T20:15:00.002-05:00

I considered for a few days stopping blogging for awhile. Not because I wanted to, because ultimately the blog is for me. It's my journal. It's how I get things out. But because some people just don't "get it", and I thought maybe retreating would be a better way for me to find some peace of mind. And then, I got an email from a friend who is going through the exact same thing right now and every single thought and feeling she expressed in her email was EXACTLY what I have been thinking, feeling, and doing!!! Amen! I may be crazy, but I am not alone!! And, then I thought, there are more than 2 of us out there. And, if my journal of MY feelings helps just one single person out there feel the slightest bit validated in their infertility struggles, then putting up with a few people that just don't "get it", will be worth it!! Before I go any further, I want anyone reading this that has kids of their own to stop and think for a minute. To even come close to putting yourself in our place, imagine, just imagine, what life would be like without your child. Imagine no first moments, no hearing "I love you mommy", no first day of school, no Christmas presents to put together in anticipation of Santa, no graduations, no grandkids, no children's laughter, no hands reaching up for you to hold them....just imagine for a moment that all those moments that you have been blessed with...imagine life without them. THEN, you can give me advice. THEN, maybe you can tell me how to feel. And, I didn't even have a pity party or cry a tear just then. It's acceptance that may or may not be God's will for my life. I know He has a plan. I know He knows what is best for me. He can certainly make better plans for my life than I can. But, I still get to have emotions and feel the pain. I am human, and disappointment hurts. But this isn't the first hard ball life has thrown my way, and I am sure it won't be the last. I have overcome before, and I will again. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the prayers. I am beyond blessed to have so many people praying for me. We certainly need them right now.
Dear Lord, please help me have patience and faith while I wait to hear from You. Help me live in excited anticipation for the day when I will see how You answer my prayers. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Honesty

2011-10-16T20:33:00.002-05:00

I am not going to try to cover it up or lie. I'm still not doing good. I feel like I am barely holding it together most days, and I can't get out of the slump. I don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone. And, I cry at the drop of a hat. I cried a lot yesterday. My poor husband is being a trooper but I think he has about had it with me. I know I am under a big spiritual warfare cloud right now. I am reading my Bible every day, going to church, praying, and doing my Bible Study. I am doing all those things because I KNOW that God is the only answer to get out of this funk I am in. But, if I am going to be really honest with you. I am doing those things, but I am not feeling it. I think I may take a break from facebook for awhile (it's toxic in more ways than one) and if I blog, for awhile I may force myself to just list things I am grateful for that day. I don't know what else to do...the only time I really feel ok is when I am work because I forget everything else and focus on work. I forget how poor we are, how infertile we are, how our yard looks like white trash, and the house needs to be cleaned. I forget. Then, it's like something clicks when I get in the car to go home. And, my shoulders are heavy again. I don't know what to do to get over all this except pray and keep reading my Bible. Life is a series of ups and downs and I know it will get better...hang in there with me!

Birthday Girl!

2011-10-13T18:53:00.004-05:00

That's right! It's Nala Girl's 15th birthday!! And she wants to tell you her story!
15 years is a long time to be together. My mom says I've been with her longer than anyone. I love her. She really spoils me, because she always wanted an orange tabby and that's ME! I was born in a barn a few days within my brother, Simba's litter, so grandma and mom "guess" that today is my birthday. They know they are within a day or two of it, so we settled on the 13th of October. Can you believe I was born in a barn? Those days are sooooo behind me! My original family included Rocky (the rottie), Jax (who mom refers to as the best dog ever), and Simba (my brother...we share a daddy?). Here is a picture of my mom with me, Simba and Jax. I was NOT very happy here at all!
And this is me with my brother, Simba. He passed away earlier this year. We think he had a heart attack. I told him to stop going out there and hunting, but he loved it. Me? I prefer the indoors, the soft fabrics, the air conditioner, the peace and quiet. I do miss my brother though. He was my sidekick for over 14 years. It was hard to say goodbye, even if he did annoy me sometimes. I mean, what are brothers for, right?
Everyone except my mom thinks it is ridiculous that I prefer to drink my water out of the tap. I say, what is better than fresh water? And, yes, I let it run down my head first. Don't judge!
After Rocky and Jax passed away, mom and dad eventually got new puppies. What a pain that was! I hated them for the first two years pretty much. I've only decided to try and like them now that Simba is gone and I have no one else to talk to while mom and dad are at work. I do love to bully the boxer though. Shhh! He's so easy to pick on! He's terrified of me. The other one, Stella, she's too dumb to even know to be scared. And her tail drives me crazy!!
If I had a choice, I'd take my Simba back!!
And if we are being completely honest, I'd take Jax back too. He was SO much calmer. I could cuddle on the couch with him. Not these two new morons!! Oh well, maybe I can get them trained!!

Just recently I was diagnosed with diabetes. I am trying to be brave for my mom. She was nervous about giving me shots, but I am being extra good for her. She said she wants many more years with me because she loves me so much. My birthday wish is for many more years with her too. I love nothing more than sitting in her lap and letting her love on me! Happy Birthday to Me!

No News=Good News

2011-10-11T19:58:00.002-05:00

On the infertility talk anyway...for now, we are in a "wait" stage. Kevin is on some antibiotics and once he finishes those, he takes in a sample two weeks later. Then, I think, all our testing will be complete and we will really know where we stand. A.K.A. when we get the official "label" and insurance goes bye bye! I am trying to put it all out of my mind. It was consuming my thoughts (mainly the money part)...well, and I was having some "unfairness issues." I know people are praying for us, and I can feel those prayers. I am much stronger this week than I was last week. Much less weepy! :) Keep them coming!!!

Hog Road Trip

2011-10-09T21:09:00.002-05:00

Kevin's sister had 6 tickets to the Hog game yesterday, and lucky for us, we got to tag along!! We love us some Hogs!! And, to be there in person is way better than watching on TV. It is a 3 hour drive to get there and we went and came back in the same day. So, we got in at 3 am this morning. But, it was awesome! Above is the view from Kevin's seats!! Wow - right? Kevin, John (the bro-in-law), Ethan (the nephew) and Allison (Ethan's girlfriend) all sat together here.
Towards the end of the game when people knew we had for sure won it and were leaving, Rhonda and I joined them for a bit. But, for the majority of the game, we had these seats below: Still not bad!! We had cover (not that it rained! ha), a tv monitor, bathrooms and concessions close by! All the seats were in the East Outdoor Club...basically, we could never score seats like these unless we get to tag along with Kevin's sister!! And, oh, how we needed a break. It was a great day, and I got an AWESOME Razorback purse. But, I am a walking zombie today!! :)

Thanks John and Rhonda! You ROCK!

The results are in...

2011-10-05T20:37:00.002-05:00

The good news: It's treatable and should have many more years together! And, Nala did a little better at the vet this time. A little...not much! ha!
The bad news: $300 today alone and Nala has a UTI and is diabetic. That means antibiotics for the UTI (not fun with a cat!!) and insulin shots twice a day for the rest of her life. One bottle of insulin = $100 if you were wondering. I'll keep you posted on how long it lasts!! So...looks like we'll be getting a credit card just for me and Nala and our many medical bills! We are both totally worth it though! :)

Kitty Prayers

2011-10-04T18:46:00.005-05:00

Little Miss Fluff...aka Nala...aka Nonna Girl is going to the vet tomorrow. Now, she is NO treat at the vet. She turns from this sleeping fluff of beauty into a real beast. It's not pretty. Ever! But, my girl is 15 years old now and we are having some issues, so tomorrow we get checked out. And, I am hoping for the best results. I even went and got her a new pink carrier for her trip...hoping the comfort of it helps. (yeah, right!) This is how she reacted when I showed her: (her not so happy face!)

"Woman, I am NOT going in there!"

"Dream on!"

You know it doesn't ever rain at the Benson house, it pours buckets! We don't need any bad news, so let's pray some healthy kitty prayers please!

Better day...

2011-10-03T19:28:00.002-05:00

Today was better. Only because I have the best friends and an awesome job and some amazing kids in my class!!!
And, to Carey, thanks! The brownie invite was perfect timing!! Love ya!

Chin is up!! About to start a new Bible Study...let's get this journey back on track.

Pity Party anyone?

2011-10-02T16:47:00.002-05:00

I'm having one today...want to join? I just can't seem to wrap my head and heart around this whole journey. Why am I suddenly struggling so hard? We've been trying for 2 1/2 years!!! Why is it just now hitting me? Maybe because we are just now getting down to the serious part with the doctors. The end result is in sight. It's either going to be a no or a yes. And, the wait will be over. I've always been so scared to let my heart want to have a child for fear the answer would be no, and I would be heartbroken. I am just struggling right now with the "why?" Why do we have to go through this? Why does this person or that person get to be a mom so easily? What are we doing wrong? What else can we do? I don't know...I think I'm just scared the answer is no. I just don't get it. I may never.

The unknown worries...

2011-09-29T20:28:00.004-05:00

What gets left out of updates and doctor reports is the day to day stress and worries that infertility leaves you with. It consumes your life. We are now entering the final stages of this journey, and it is impossible NOT to think about it daily. Why? Because you are either at the doctor, calling the doctor, waiting on a call from the doctor, or getting ready to go to the doctor! It starts to become your life - whether you like it or not. And, there is a catch-22 to letting people in on your journey. On the one hand, we need the prayers. On the other hand, there are many days and times when you just don't want to talk about it. You just want to be normal. Most of the time when you leave the doctor - good report or bad - you just need to breathe and take it in. Some people just get it. It's amazing how some have that sensitivity - even if they haven't been through it. And, some are just so clueless that quite frankly, you want to slap them. We don't need to hear things like "if you would just relax it would happen" or "what's wrong with you? why aren't you pregnant yet" or "here's what you need to do..."(really? because we've pretty much already tried all that!! thanks!). I will be honest, there are times, when even though you know it's wrong, you can't help but look at the mom yelling at Wal-Mart with the dirty, snotty nose kid and think "Really? Why does she get to be a mom and I don't?" Or the teenage mom that was recently arrested and they took her toddler from her when they found the house full of dog and human feces. Seriously? She gets to be a mom? And I might not? I KNOW I am not supposed to look at other people's journeys and only focus on mine. But I am human. Sometimes you have those thoughts. Then, there is the guilt. My poor husband is shouldering the fact that we are struggling because of his "swimmers". Oh, how I wanted that burden to be on me. But it's not. And, he is heartbroken and feels like this is all his fault. While I think it is a blessing we are only having trouble from one side and not both. And of course, there is the all consuming money concern. How in the world are we going to come up with $14,000? And then basically, put it on red? I mean, we have a 40% of success with IVF at $14,000 a pop. How do you get that out of the back of your mind? If I were in Vegas would I take that bet? NO!!! With those odds? NO WAY! But, with it being my only chance to be a mom, will I take those odds? You bet ya! I will find a way. If we have to take a second mortgage out on the house and live in debt for the rest of our lives. I'm taking the bet. I want to be a mom. I just never knew it would be such a wild ride to get there! We are both stressed and need a little prayer and some relief. Kevin's blood pressure is through the roof. My anxiety level is pretty high. We need prayer. We always appreciate your thoughts and prayers. But here is a request...I know you love us, but this is about to become a daily journey/battle, please check for updates here on the blog. It keeps me from having to talk about it over and over and reliving it. It is our way of sharing with you when we are ready. Let us bring it up to you rather than asking about it. Only because there are days when we are barely holding it together. And there are days when we are an open book. We love you and we are praying for a happy ending to this journey and understanding for why we are going through it. We know that God has a plan and it is in motion. We may not understand it, but we trust it.

The latest word...

2011-09-27T18:39:00.002-05:00

Here is what I had done today:
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) - Radiographic contrast dye is injected through the cervix into the uterus and fallopian tubes. This x-ray evaluates the shape of the uterine cavity and determines whether or not the fallopian tubes are open. The procedure is performed in the radiology department.

Uterine cramping usually occurs during the dye injection. This resolves within a few minutes of completing the procedure. Occasionally, patients may experience some dizziness or lightheadedness immediately after the procedure. This usually lasts only a few minutes. You can expect to be in the radiology department for about 45 minutes for this procedure.

See that last line? The one about 45 minutes? That's not true. The rest is true. It wasn't pleasant, but it only took about 10 minutes for the actual procedure. I took my ibuprofen an hour before my scheduled appointment like they said, but I'm pretty sure by the time I actually got in, it had worn off. Oh well, it's over. Two yay's from today: I only had to pay $20 today!!! And, my tubes are clear!! Whoot!

On to the next step....

Infertility update 365

2011-09-26T20:54:00.002-05:00

The latest is that after much frustration from playing phone tag...oh wait, that is when people actually call you BACK when you leave messages. So, let me start over. After a week of trying to get anyone to answer a phone and set up an appointment, I am finally set for the dye test tomorrow to make sure my tubes are open.
Say a little prayer please! My nerves are about fried dealing with balancing all this and school and we are barely into it! Of course, it would help if people called me back! Just sayin.....

20 year Reunion!

2011-09-25T19:48:00.003-05:00

I can't believe we have been out of high school for 20 years, but we have!! This weekend was our 20 year reunion and with Kevin being the class President, that meant he was in charge. So...it has been a little stressful planning it all and may have caused an argument or two, BUT it was worth it! We had a great time this weekend, even with the small turn out. We graduated with almost 150 and about 35 of us came, but it was a good time and I don't regret doing it. But I am glad to have it checked off the ole to-do list! :)

We went to the football game Friday night. Cave City (coached by one of our classmates) vs. Newport. Then, Saturday, we had a fish fry at Jacksonport on the White River. After that, everyone separated for the Hog game. Then, we had the dinner and dancing at the Country Club Saturday night. I was so proud of Kevin - he was a designated sober driver for the first time in his life!! Awesomeness!! :)
And, this pretty much sums up my husbands weekend...he loved on everyone rather they wanted it or not. Gave me a break, so I have no complaints! ha!

Hard to believe how many classmates we have lost already. Sad! I thought Tammy did a good job with the decorations and the memorial.

Failed

2011-09-22T06:58:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I didn't do a very good job at turning it over yesterday. In a series of events yesterday afternoon, I crumbled. But, rather than skip Bible Study, I went right on to church puffy eyes and all. And, even had to leave the room once for one good last cry. But what better place to be when your heart is breaking?
Today, I WILL do better about handing it over and not worrying. Today, I will try my best to have a normal day. It is hard when you have a cell phone strapped to you at all times waiting for doctor's to call back, but I am determined.

Turning it over...

2011-09-20T20:28:00.002-05:00

I don't know why I have to be given this lesson over and over. My momma always said I was hardheaded. :) But, I am giving over all fertility/fertility money issues to God. Handing it over. Bye Bye. That's right! I mean, He knows what He is doing! He put me right where I need to be and has over and over. Today when I was still at work at 6pm and happy to be there, I knew that God was in control. I felt so incredibly blessed to have a job that I love and coworkers that I love who inspire me daily. Thank you Jesus for pushing me out of my comfort zone and letting me see once again not to be afraid of change!

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Infertility update

2011-09-19T17:20:00.002-05:00

Good news: The cysts on my ovary are functional cysts. The good kind. Nothing to worry about. No surgery needed. Woohoo!
Blood work up is in progress, and Kevin will be taking in another "sample". Then, next week I get to have x-rays to make sure all my tubes are open. After we get all this information back, then we get to discuss what our options are...apparently they are still leaning towards the IVF side. And, I am trying not to focus on the money part when I have enough to worry about.
As for why I just skipped my cycle this month? Who knows? Maybe I just wanted to be pregnant so badly that I willed it away. Or, maybe I am like one of those dogs that has a false pregnancy. Before long, I'll be carrying dolls around thinking they are babies. I mean, I am sure there are cases where people have lost their minds from all this infertility business.
Thanks for the prayers, calls, and texts. I think I am retreating into my shell for awhile and just focusing on Jesus, and me and Big Bear.

What I left out...

2011-09-18T19:04:00.003-05:00

So here is the part I left out when I updated about our doctor appointment. We have been on a serious roller coaster ride around here. For whatever spiteful reason, my body decided to play a nasty trick on us. I skipped my cycle. Never happened before. Usually first sign of pregnancy and our hopes were WAY up! How awesome would it be to say that we didn't need the doctor's help after all and Jesus get ALL the glory?!? Pretty awesome! I had several other symptoms too, but we were getting negative urine tests. I think I took about 5 before we even saw Dr. Batres! Then, he did a blood test that came back negative. We still didn't give up hope because there are lots of women who get negative results and end up being pregnant. At about 20 days late, we were pretty certain I was pregnant. The medicine the doctor gave me to make me start my cycle was having no effect. I was tired. I was cranky. I had frequent urination. I had nausea. Yep, we were convinced. We were excited. We just knew. Then, Friday, our hopes were crushed. Our dream again shattered. Again, it wasn't meant to be. We prayed. We cried. We prayed some more. We leaned on some friends and family. And, yet, as crazy as it sounds, I still have a sliver of hope until after my doctor appointment tomorrow. I just can't give up. I mean, come on, how else would they be able to have a show about "I didn't even know I was pregnant." Seriously? It could happen!
Anyway - there you have it, for a few short weeks, we thought maybe. We were happy but yet scared to be happy. And, in the end, Big Bear took it really hard. I hurt more for him then for our crushed dream. It is hard to see a man cry. It breaks my heart. So, for now, I have to be strong and keep my chin up. I have an appointment tomorrow to see what is going on and get an ultrasound of my ovary with the cysts. Plus, have some pre-screening tests ran. And, so the infertility journey continues. I believe with all my heart that God is preparing us for something big. For a joy so huge that we can't even comprehend it. I believe we will be parents and our hearts will practically burst with all the love we have for our child. I believe....and I pray. Please pray for me tomorrow. And, say an extra prayer for my Big Bear. The emotions are on edge.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-14T20:27:00.002-05:00

Thank you!

2011-09-13T18:52:00.002-05:00

It is really humbling just how many people are praying for us right now. There are no words that could possibly express how grateful we are. We love you and thank you!

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Keep praying those Benson Baby prayers! :)

Impossible?

2011-09-12T19:15:00.004-05:00

Focus is KEY to the training process! Rex, are you listening?

No! Don't EAT the paper! Bring it to me!

That's it! Wait? No, this isn't chase! Bring it TO me!Ok, maybe you aren't a retriever, but you sure are CUTE!

Infertility 101

2011-09-10T16:36:00.003-05:00

**If you don't like too much information, then don't read! This is our journal of how we expand our family. And, the infertility blogs I have read that tell it like it is are most helpful. So, if you don't want to know "girl" stuff, then log off! You've been warned!**
I will do my best to explain our doctor appointment this week and what our next steps are but keep in mind that we left with a lot of information and a lot of "if this, then this" scenarios. So our heads were spinning when we left! Let me start off with the good stuff, then I will get to the stuff that concerned me.
First, insurance covered 80% of the visit! Yay! And, it will continue to cover 80% until we are officially labeled with the infertility label. So, all the screening and testing will be covered by insurance. One of the first things he told us was that due to our age of 38 and that we had been unsuccessful for 2 1/2 years, he was going to be very aggressive in our treatment. Basically, after 35, all the numbers start dropping more each year. Number of eggs produced. Percentage of getting pregnant. And, we all know the likelihood of a downs baby increases the older you get. The first area of concern are the cysts he found on one of my ovaries during the ultrasound. Here is the first of the "if then" cases. I have to go back on day 3 of my cycle for another ultrasound and testing. If the cysts turn out to be "good" cysts (apparently we create functional cysts every month...who knew?), then no worries. We proceed. However, if they aren't functional cysts, then priority number 1 is removal of the cysts. I will get to have surgery. Joy! And, of course, very worst case is cancer and removal of the ovary! Seriously, he takes you from best case functional cyst to worst case. No question left unanswered. Except that SO many are answered, you can't possibly remember it all! ha!
He is looking at Kevin's samples again. The part that concerns me here is that the sample he was looking at, made it seem to him that IVF (in vitro fertilization) would be the route to take rather than IUI (artificial insemination). BIG cost difference here! But, with the count he was looking at, he gave a 20% success rate with IUI at our age and a 40% of success with IVF at our age. Not sure the exact cost of IUI, but IVF runs $12,000 to $15,000. Wow...with a 40% chance of success. Makes you go hmmmm? I was all prepared to try the artificial insemination but I'm not sure how I feel about IVF. I have time to think about it though. One step (month) at a time.
Basically, when he saw the cysts, that became priority #1. So, I go back on day 3 of my cycle for them to re-evaluate those AND to have some additional tests done. After that, we see what step 2 is going to be.
If you see our name in the paper filing for bankruptcy shortly after our child is born, don't judge! :)
More to come after the next appointment...keep those baby prayers coming!

Visitor

2011-09-08T20:29:00.002-05:00

Kevin picked up a beagle pup on a busy highway tonight and Rex was IN LOVE! Once she got over being nervous, they played and ran and romped and had a big time. Rex should sleep good because she wore him out! (and yes, that is trash in the backyard - from the dogs getting in the trash can and yes, we need to mow. Don't judge! ha!) "Momma, I think I think I love her!"

She is super cute and luckily we found her home. So, happy ending and a little love brought into our house tonight. We are all (well, except Nala and Stella) a sucker for a cute dog!

Not Ready Yet

2011-09-07T20:24:00.002-05:00

We got an overload of information at the doctor's yesterday...and it hasn't been a good day in Benson Land. Maybe over the weekend, I will make a post and explain what I remember. Just keep us in your prayers.

Nerves

2011-09-06T06:20:00.002-05:00

Now that doctor appointment day is officially here...I am a bundle of nerves. I couldn't make myself fall asleep last night. Procedure and baby thoughts dancing in my head. Praying for a fast moving day to get me to the afternoon appointment time and concentration to teach my kids!
Not sure if I will post tonight or not...depends on what happens I guess!
It's all in God's hands.
Prayers much appreciated!

Labor Day Weekend

2011-09-05T19:04:00.005-05:00

I feel like we should have done something exciting like camping...but I haven't been just feeling 100% lately. I think it's just exhaustion from working non-stop...so we had a quiet weekend at home. Friday night, Kevin took me out to dinner for Mexican - a favorite and then I went to bed early. Like I said, exciting! Saturday, I cleaned a little, ran a few errands and then crashed for napping with the pups.
Of course, we ordered pay-per-view and watched the Hogs. It was such a blow-out that it was a great first game for the Hogs, but made for a boring game. (Just my opinion...I like those down to the wire, blood pumping games!)
Sunday, brought church, more napping....

Today, we have been lazy again. Although we did drive around and look for some potential parking places for the concessions trailer. Hopefully, I am all rested up and ready to conquer the week! It's nice that it's only 4 days!
Oh, I got my pictures turned in for Jax's portrait. I sent the tomato pic as #1.
And, I'm pretty sure all the napping went to my head and I signed up to work the nursery once a month at church. What was I thinking?!? I haven't changed a diaper in 12 years!!!!
Keep us in your prayers tomorrow is our doctor appointment with Dr. Batres! :)

Wordless Wednesday - Wide Open Spaces!

2011-08-31T21:02:00.002-05:00

Excited!!

2011-08-30T21:00:00.005-05:00

As you all well know, Jax, was the best dog that ever lived, and I have wanted to get a pet portrait made of him. Well, a girl from my hometown, used to do pet portraits and is now making them again. You better bet I am on the list to have one made. Now, here comes the tough part. She needs some pictures to work from. I have tons and tons. Which to pick? I am pretty sure I want a portrait with his sweet gray face. Oh, how I still miss that face!!! But which one? It's been two years and I still cry as I type this. He was one awesome boy. I'll never have another like him. Not even close.
What do you think of these? What to do, what to do?

Weekend

2011-08-28T18:48:00.003-05:00

This weekend, Kevin went to a Men's Conference at Immanuel Baptist and while he was there, I did school work to try and get caught up. Is there such a thing? I am blessed to have a husband that would spend his Friday night lifting up Jesus. How times have changed!! Amen!! Friday night actually marked 5 years since our first date as adults. Wow! I went back in the blogging journals to 5 years ago and started reading....taking myself back. What a journey it's been! I was reading posts going - remember this? remember this? And, oh my! The posts about my nightmare teaching year...wow! Some things you just block! I am going to be even MORE grateful for my class and job tomorrow!! ha!
Saturday night we went to dinner with some of Kevin's oldest and dearest friends. It was just what I needed to unwind from working non-stop for the past 3 weeks. And now, it's going to be a busy week getting ready for Open House and then maybe things will settle into a normal routine.
Keep praying those baby prayers!

Wordless Wednesday...Lightning Strike

2011-08-24T19:44:00.003-05:00

I got nothing...

2011-08-23T19:28:00.002-05:00

...Unless you want to hear about lesson plans, cutting lamination, and how many items are on my to-do list??? No? I didn't think so. I think I block how crazy busy this time of year is ... it should settle soon. Don't get me wrong - I love it. I just need some quiet family time without that big list of things I need to get done looming over me.

In other news, my parents have decided to build instead of re-model/add-on to the old house. Yippee!! They are going to paint and put new floors in the old house so they can live there until they sale the place in Newport and the new house is finished. Fast forward a year or two, and I can relax from the beginning of school year stress by fishing on one of those awesome ponds!! Ahhhhh!!!

My parents new place!!!

2011-08-20T21:15:00.005-05:00

We just got back from having a birthday dinner with my dad and then drove out to the new farm. Wow! The land is GORGEOUS!! 60 acres with a house (we'll get to that later), a shop, a hay barn, another barn, a shed, all fenced for the horses, 3 ponds, some woods, and an awesome creek! Love, love, love IT! I will just let the pictures do most of the talking. There are twenty acres beside the house and then it goes back for what seems like forever. We had to drive it in my Bubby's truck...I can see some serious 4-wheeler riding and fishing in our future! :)
This is the creek at the very back of the land. It marks the back border. There are some big cypress trees and it's called Cypress Creek.

This is in the woods along the back of the property...there is an old recliner back here for deer hunting. Mom and Autumn are thinking horse trail rides...

The biggest of the three ponds:

Now, for the "before" pics of the house...keep in mind that it's old and I think has been empty for a year? And, an 80 year old man had lived in it by himself for years. The big decision is if they are going to re-model and add on OR make it livable while they build a new house. Either way, lots of work ahead...
And so begins the great move of 2011...pictures of progress as it's made will be posted. :)

Praises

2011-08-18T21:30:00.002-05:00

This week has FLOWN by!! Week 1 of school is one day away from finished. Wow!
Lots of good news this week too!!
Praises:
*I love my job. Love the challenges a new grade level is bringing. Love my coworkers and that I am learning new things. This is why changing grade levels is good for me every now and then. I get revived!
*In baby news, we have our appointment with Dr. Batres on September 6th. I am VERY happy about it and excited to hear our options. I feel like we are finally getting the "show on the road".
*And, my parents closed on 60 acres in Beebe. While it's a little sad that the house and land I have so many memories with will be up for sale and I will officially have no reason to go back to Newport, I am excited for them. The plus side is that they will be closer when Baby Benson finally does get here! And 60 acres is AwEsOmE! I can't wait to see it!

Yuck...

2011-08-16T19:56:00.002-05:00

So, one of my favorite little burger joints locally apparently has new owners. I'm so sad!! It was my favorite greasy burger (and cheap) place to eat. Just a little local dive. Well, we went tonight and the new folks have 3 kids who were running all over the place. But, that's not the issue. One of them was picking his nose. I mean digging. No big issue...just being a kid. But, then he went in the kitchen and got a cup. And proceeded to dig in his nose. With more than one finger if you can picture this with me. I'm thinking "he better be getting his own drink". Then, I hear him say, "A Dr. Pepper and diet dad?" And then I watch him PAT DOWN THE ICE IN THE CUP with his little booger fingers. I just about lost it!!! I knew I wasn't going to drink that Dr. Pepper, so I had to tell the owner that his son was just picking his nose and then touched the ice. I couldn't drink it. He was temporarily thrown out of the kitchen and I got a fresh drink. I may have made a return visit after that incident. Except, then I found a hair in my burger. Yep, it's over. So, now the search is on for a good, cheap, greasy, local burger. I mean, seriously?!?

Hop on over...

2011-08-15T20:44:00.004-05:00

I'm too tired to blog twice...my body actually aches. Am I really that lazy over the summer that one day back at work makes every muscle in my legs hurt? Don't answer that! :) I just have to get used to standing all day again.
In short, I loved today. My class was a little talkative for the first day, but I loved it! Praying for a successful year!
For pictures from today you have to click here and go over to the classroom blog.

Summer is over

2011-08-14T16:49:00.002-05:00

This blog was temporarily interrupted due to the crazy, busy that goes along with getting a classroom ready for the first day of school. Tomorrow is the day!! I meant to take a picture of the finished classroom yesterday before I left but I forgot. :( I will have to get one tomorrow and post. I love it!! It's the same theme as the past few years, but just the move and the cleaning out of stuff makes it feel different. Brighter. Clean. Ready for a new year.
Anyway...even as I type this, I have things "to do" piled in my lap. So, short and sweet. I am here again. I've been covered up in making things for the classroom and cutting lamination. And reading up on 4th grade curriculum. The room is done. Well, except for a few minor signs/labels I want to make with the cricut and get up. The papers are copies. The laundry and house caught back up. My new co-workers are awesome! And now, it's just time to meet the kids, learn some new curriculum and have a great year!

Discouraged but not without hope

2011-08-08T20:43:00.002-05:00

I think that is a good descriptor of our news today. Without too much detail, or maybe with, who knows? We'll see where this post takes us. Today marks the day we finally have an answer in that we won't be able to have a child without assistance. Now, here is the positive side of that - no one said we couldn't have a child. No one said it was impossible. No one said there was zero chance. Just that we would need some help. Even more positive, in my opinion, is that we were referred to THE BEST infertility doctor in Little Rock. Now, we just meet with him and go over our options. And cost. That's the scary part for me. But I am going to push that out of my mind for now. First, we meet with the specialist. Then, we make decisions. How far are we willing to go with this? At point do we stop? When do you give in and throw in the towel? Why, oh why, does it seem like everything is a battle for us? Oh, is the devil working on us? You better believe it! He sees his opening with this one. But he won't win. We are relying on God to get us through this, guide us, show us our paths to take. I still am not feeling a pull to adopt or foster. I am not ready to give up on a child of our own. I think it's possible. Actually, from what the doctor said today, I am very hopeful that artificial is the answer for us. So, there it is for now. Decisions to make. News to come to terms with. Big Bear is taking it harder than me. Pray for us both, but pray for him an extra prayer please.

Last day of summer...

2011-08-04T11:31:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is back to the real world of working. Teachers everywhere will hate me for what I am about to say, but I am ready to go back. It's time. I need structure and adult conversations with someone besides Big Bear. :) Plus, I'm excited and nervous about the new challenges ahead of me. Learning a new grade, new curriculum, new kids....it's like being a new teacher all over again and gives me a refreshing feeling. I'm ready, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to soak up today. I plan to be a vegetable with the pups and maybe scrapbook some. I know I'm going to have a hard time waking up tomorrow. I have gotten to where I am staying up to midnight and sleeping until 8 am. Tomorrow I have to be at work at 7:30 am and there is no way I'll be able to go to bed early!!
Since I'm on the subject of work, I got some exciting news yesterday. I got a raise!!! I moved over on the pay scale to Masters + 15. I had Masters + 12 hours and some of my after hours professional development over the years has finally added up to 3 additional hours and bumped me over on the pay scale. EXCITING!! Who doesn't love a raise that they didn't know they were getting? I'm thinking it just gets me that much closer to my bigger camper! ha!

Check it out!

2011-08-03T10:03:00.002-05:00

Not all boxers have Rex's swimming problems...this one even swims UNDER water!!!

PS. Our sidebar picture show is updated! :)

This, that, and the other....

2011-08-02T22:07:00.002-05:00

Thank you to my proof readers...I now have a header for my birthday poster that is even better than what I had originally, and I don't have to deal with a nasty apostrophe! ha! Have I mentioned my hatred of comma's and apostrophe's? (Do those two need apostrophe's?) Ahhh! I'll take a picture of the completed project when it's all laminated and hanging.
I have another assignment for you! I need a cute bulletin board idea for back to school. I try to stick to the beach/ocean theme. The past two or three years, I've had the flip flops. I want something different and a catchy title. My cousin has these cricut cut outs I could use: castle, popsicle, sea horse, palm trees, ice cream cone....any of those spark a good idea???? Email or leave a comment if they do! :) I'll totally give you the credit!
I have two full days left of summer and it's too hot to do ANYTHING!! I will be hibernating the next two days. I may not even leave the house! I need to save my money to pay the $300 electric bill I got today! holy moly! :(
Send some ideas folks...I'm hoping to scrap the next few days!
Oh, and for the record so she'll shut-up about it: Michelle E. was right and I was wrong. It happens! ha!

Nighttime is My Time by Mary Higgins Clark

2011-08-02T22:02:00.001-05:00

#9

First thing, don't read this while getting ready to sleep in the woods as the only campers. It will make it hard to go to sleep. Just sayin'....

From allreaders.com:
She would prefer to ignore the invitation to return to Stonecraft Academy for her class' twentieth anniversary reunion, but renowned historian Jean Sheridan is one of six recipients being honored at the gala for their accomplishments. Still the award would not have propelled Jean to return to the academy, but posthumously honoring another winner is the reason for the author to drive to Croton on the Hudson to attend the festivities.

At the hotel, Jean receives a fax that follows up on a package sent to her that contains evidence that someone kidnapped her teenage child, who she gave up for adoption at birth. She is further stunned when attendee Laura Wilcox followed by Robby Brent vanish. When Laura calls to confess that she sent the fax and wants to meet Jean, the historian has no idea the danger she will be stepping into. The serial killer the Owl has made a home at Stonecraft Academy and Jean would be a prize addition to the victim list of at least five from the class of two decades ago.

Though the plot seems anemic in spite of a serial killer and the abduction, the suspense is at its usual stratospheric levels as expected from a Mary Higgins Clark thriller. The story line focuses on the Professor dealing with two crises that interconnect with her. Readers will appreciate the heroism of the reluctant female champion as she grits her teeth and goes forth to do battle against an unknown enemy who might be abetted by a peer betrayer. Ms. Clark shows why she is amongst the top echelon of psychological suspense authors with this taut tale.

Harriet Klausner

Good and Not so good....

2011-08-01T21:05:00.003-05:00

**Warning - Infertility Talk - could qualify as T.M.I**
Today was a doctor day for the infertility. I'll keep it short, because really it is a short report. Remember, we left off with Kevin taking an antibiotic for the bacteria that was killing the "swimmers". Good news is that it worked! He no longer has whatever the fancy name that they labeled it. yay!! Bad news is that the "sample" that was given last week was unreadable. So....that means, he has to do it again. NOT. FUN! There are several reasons it could have been unreadable and one of which is heat. Considering he took the sample up there in a non-air conditioned vehicle in this crazy heat, I'd go with that reason. So, I think it is looking good. We take another sample in on Thursday in MY air conditioned ride and he goes back to the doctor the week after that. All in all, encouraging news, just frustrating for Kevin. Keep the prayers coming!!

Days 6 & 7

2011-07-30T10:16:00.006-05:00

My big task for the day on Wednesday was I took ALL the computers off the tables, cleaned the tables and moved them from the big circle that took up a lot of room and opened them up this way. And I did all the wiring and everything by myself!!! I was so proud! I hate all those wires hanging though and the next day I took zip ties and neatened them up, but if you have any ideas of how I can completely cover them, share! :) I'm excited that I can see all the computer screens and there can be no sneaky business happening!
The next day I did a few cleaning chores that I had left - taking goo gone and getting sticky stuff off the boards. I mean, this room was a mess!!! ALL the bulletin board backgrounds are UP! I have a few things to laminate before all the bulletin boards are totally complete. I made this birthday chart with my scrap supplies...go cricut!! One of my goals this year is to do better making a fuss over the kids birthday's!
My calendar math is ready to roll. I had to bring that all home and read up on 4th grade and organize it. Once again, it was a MESS! This room doesn't know what hit it with everything cleaned and in its place for the first time in probably 20 years! ha!
I am down to the last minute stuff. I got started on labeling and putting up some of the AR books I inherited with the move. I have to finish that and finish up the boards. Then, it is just taking care of all those details and labeling things when you get your class list. I am thinking about going and getting some cute fish knobs for the back counters. What do you think?
I have 6 days of summer left and will only go work in my room one more day before I officially go back. I'll take pics again when it's all done! ;)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T21:23:00.002-05:00

Camping Round 2

2011-07-26T21:45:00.006-05:00

We decided we had two weeks before I went back to work and we better go camping again while we still could. It's awesome going during the week because there aren't many people there. Above is the view from our campsite at Lake Sylvia, and we were literally the only people camping besides the camp host. Love it! Once again, Stella didn't have to worry with a leash. :)
Over Memorial weekend we went for a day hike and saw this GREAT swimming hole, so we made it ours yesterday and today. Again, we had the place to ourselves. And, this was for sure a place that Rex needed his life jacket. You would be walking along in ankle deep water and it would suddenly drop off. He fell into deep water once and then I knew we better vest up! Eventually, he got tired of us all in the water and wanted out with us...the solution:
Stella is happy as long as someone is throwing a stick or she is out swimming.
Today, when we first got to the swimming spot, Kevin saw a big alligator gar come to the surface of the water. We were a little skittish after that (especially after being bitten by fish the day before!!). So, Rex and I piled in the boat and went to look for the gar! Note the flip flops as paddles! ha!!
After swimming, we decided to take the sight seeing route back to camp and the plan was to eat lunch, pack up and then go swimming again....
But, after sight seeing as we were almost back to camp, we were meeting a truck pulling a boat and its motor fell off into the road. Seriously! We were able to drive around the big chunks, but as we pulled into camp, the computer in the Tahoe said to check the tire pressure. About 30 minutes or so later, this is what we saw:

Turns out we missed the big stuff but ran over a big chunk of metal from their propeller. Thank God we weren't about 2 minutes further up in our journey or that motor would have come off as we were beside them. Now, THAT would have been bad. As it is, we started our past camping trip with a blow-out on the pop-up and we ended this one with a flat on the Tahoe. Poor Kevin!! Did I mention the log truck that threw a rock into my windshield and took a chunk out of it? We really don't need to go camping for awhile! ha!
We are getting a handle on Rex's swimming issues though...we need a new life jacket. This one doesn't fit him right and if I have a floatie that isn't the kind you blow up, he can float with me. Then, we are set! :)
If you need me tomorrow, I'll be at the tire store....

Camping

2011-07-22T15:32:00.011-05:00

This camping trip can be summed up best like this:
maintenance repairs to camper = $206
trip to Wal-Mart = $120
gas = $60
trip to Food Giant = $21
blow-out on pop-up = $1 for air on spare and 2 hours on side of road
campsite with electricity = $16
trip to Wal-Mart = $10
new spare tire for pop-up = $66
multiple bags of ice = $10
Getting away with Big Bear and pups = priceless! :)

It was a rough start...short version: had a blow-out on pop-up on way up there in 100+ weather, Kevin gets spare on and it's FLAT, unhook camper so I can drive to nearest town for air, camper falls off jack (ouch), get spare aired up and after two hours on side of a busy road (that NO ONE stopped to ask if we needed help - not even a sheriff!!!), get to campsite as it is getting dark, all the sites we wanted were taken because they are taking reservations again and ours had been CANCELLED months ago and not honored, find a site, get level and unhooked and park attendant comes by and finds that the electricity isn't working in the site, hook back up, find another site (it's now DARK), back down, level in the darkness, think about saying forget it and going home, but tough it out and end up having a great time! But we all did a lot of praying that first night!!
The next day was full of visiting and swimming and napping!! Kevin's parents were in Heber to play golf and look at houses and stopped by to see us.
Stella's facial expression in the picture below should tell just how much she loves camping and swimming!! I've got to take her swimming with her cousin, Lucky, who is addicted to water! ha
Stella would fetch and fetch all day if you let her. We found that she does better in water fetching sticks instead of tennis balls. When she gets the tennis balls, she gets a mouth full of water at the same time. If she's not playing fetch, she swims out to Kevin and gets a kiss, turns around and comes back to shore! ha!
Rex (the non-swimmer) gets in on the game as Stella returns to shallow water! :)
We tried to teach Rex how to swim and it's not happening. Luckily, he doesn't WANT to get over his head and stays up close to shore. Once though, he took off after a boat or a bird??? and got in a little too deep. That's when the life jacket came out and we tried to teach him to swim. Poor thing!

Stella really is a good camping dog. No leash needed (shhh!) and would swim all afternoon!
Rex's lip got stuck on his tooth...makes me laugh! We had so much fun swimming with the dogs and camping. Sadly, I doubt we get to go again until fall. At least we got our fix for awhile.

Big Bear kept us fed and with a campfire. Rex kept us entertained. Stella amazed us with her smarts and fetching talents. I kept everything together and organized. And, we all had good naps and a good time! :)

Oh, I should also note that this rule follower (me) broke three camping rules and got in trouble on the last night. This tickles my non-rule following husband. What were the rules? 1.) in the swimming area after 10 pm 2.) had the dogs in the swimming area 3.) one dog had no leash SORRY!!! And, our dogs may or may not pee IN the lake water. heehee

Day 5

2011-07-19T16:16:00.003-05:00

Day 5 = the hanging of all bulletin board fabric and borders & the painting of the book cases! Both of those book cases were red...LOVE the new blue!! It was totally worth having to work with oil based paint!! :)
My reading sofa for the kids is a very pale yellow and that does NOT work in a classroom full of kids...so this year, I found these very cute (if I do say so myself!) beach towels to use as sofa covers. Fit right in with our ocean theme! Whoot!
A better picture of the book wall that I got up off the floor and onto the back counter (good idea Lindsey!! I love it!)
The dark blue will be the calendar math area. That's on the to-do list for next week. :)
Curtains are washed, ironed and hung and the little boards above the dry erase are covered (all except the middle section...that's the only bulletin board area still to do). I hate that little space of bulletin board above the dry erase...they should've taken it down when they put the dry erase up. Oh well...
No more school work for me until next week...then I will try to only go up one day! :)

Weekend Report

2011-07-17T20:33:00.003-05:00

Friday morning we went to Pleasant Valley again and I drove the cart & read while Kevin played golf. This course is so beautiful that it is a treat to go out there!! I started a book that morning and finished it by that night! That pretty much sums up Friday! ha! Golf, reading, oh, and prepping office to paint. :)

I painted Kevin's office on Saturday. I forgot to take a true "before" picture, but here it is ready to paint. The walls were a pale yellow and used to be the guest room. I can't believe it's taken me this long to repaint it. It hasn't been a guest room for years!! It's the office and the room where Kevin keeps his clothes (that's right -we don't share a bathroom or closet! ha!)
We both LOVE the new color...this picture doesn't do it justice. Kevin actually picked it out. It's kind of a "carmel" color called leather satchel. All I need is to find some curtains and it is finished! Whoop!

Now You See Her by James Patterson

2011-07-15T20:59:00.003-05:00

#8
Finished this one in one day. A must read!!
From the book jacket:

The perfect life

A successful lawyer and loving mother, Nina Bloom would do anything to protect the life she's built in New York—including lying to everyone, even her daughter, about her past. But when an innocent man is framed for murder, she knows that she can't let him pay for the real killer's crimes.

The perfect lie

Nina's secret life began 18 years ago. She had looks to die for, a handsome police-officer husband, and a carefree life in Key West. When she learned she was pregnant with their first child, her happiness was almost overwhelming. But Nina's world is shattered when she unearths a terrible secret that causes her to run for her life and change her identity.

The perfect way to die

Now, years later, Nina risks everything she's earned to return to Florida and confront the murderous evil she fled. In a story of wrenching suspense, James Patterson gives us his most head-spinning, action-filled story yet—a Hitchcock-like blend of unquenchable drama and pleasure.

Progress...

2011-07-14T19:08:00.006-05:00

After 6 years of teaching 3rd grade, it was time for a change of scenery and some new curriculum to conquer! That means moving up to 4th grade and cleaning out and moving all my stuff!! The Saturday after school was out, Big Bear helped me haul everything to the new room. That took two dolly's, two hours or so and two people. :) Then, I had the mess you see above and below. (not sure what happened with some of the pics, but forgive me, I just snapped them with my phone so I'd feel good about the progress I was making each day!)

Day 1 = 9 hours of bleaching and cleaning everything and throwing away tons of stuff. I did get all the cabinets and closet organized. But I couldn't move that night!! Day 1 after:

Day 2 = organizing around my desk/small table area and more cleaning and visiting with other teachers :)
Day 3= a waste (I went for a few hours before a dr. appt.) Big Bear put a shelf together and I pulled about a million staples out of bulletin boards. Seriously!!
Day 4 = now I see progress!! Today I wasn't planning on going but I really wanted to finish the shelves and get my books on them. I knew I could see it starting to come together then.
Before pic:

And, my shrunken after pics...that back counter rocks!! Next week, I'll get better pics!

I shopped for some new fabric to back my bulletin boards and some borders today. Getting excited!!!

This is why...

2011-07-11T16:37:00.003-05:00

...our camping reservations for June AND July got cancelled!!! Now, I get it! I met my Mom and Bubby's fam at the lake Saturday for lunch and swimming. Mom and I walked around the sites and there are only a handful open. Hard to believe as hot as it's been and as long as it's been since all the flooding...but Greers Ferry is still waaaayyy up. I hope we get to camp sometime before the summer is over! I've got 4 weeks to go.
This road above is usually all the way across, a boat dock and a parking lot...wow!

4th Weekend Part II

2011-07-09T11:03:00.008-05:00

After taking a pit-stop at Mom and Dad's, we hit the road to finish up our journey to NE Arkansas. When we got to Kevin's parents house, his grandma Odean was there to have dinner with us. And what a yummy dinner it was too...beans, cornbread, fried okra, cobbler...YUM! What a welcome!! :) After dinner we settled in and basically MOVED in by the time we unloaded our stuff, Kevin's golf stuff and the dogs stuff!!!! Let's go ahead and note here that Rex ran away 4 times on this trip!! FOUR! Twice the first night we were there. Once after a bird and I caught up with him easy enough. Then, later after a cat. in the woods! Kevin got him that time. Then, again the next morning when I was half-asleep and barefoot. At this point, killing him may have crossed my mind! Then again on the 4th while Kevin's mom was taking him out to potty. The dog is a mess! Most of the time he is a lazy sack of bones. Urgh!
On the 4th of July every year in Piggott, there is a parade and picnic. Kevin and I haven't been in years, so we decided since we didn't have a catering this year, to go. I loved it! We got to see so many family members from both sides of the family. I started the day by going to the parade with my family and he went to play a round of golf with his parents.
I forgot just how much candy a kid can score during this parade!! I'm pretty sure we didn't get as much when we were little! :)
My cousin's girls are throwing candy from the 4-wheeler. My family has watched the parade from the same spot for years and years. I think everyone has their territory marked out. :)
After the parade, it actually rained for a bit (it never rains there on the 4th!!), so we all met up at Granny Mack's for lunch and then a few games before hitting the picnic.
At the picnic, we ran into members of Kevin's family and my family. So, we got a lot of visiting in AND got to eat fair food. Sno cones & cotton candy. Ahhhh!!! We rode the tilt-a-whirl but decided we were too big to get back in the zipper. There are two versions of the story, but yes, the zipper is where Kevin and I had our first kiss when we were 15 years old at the Piggott 4th of July picnic! This is Kevin's sweet cousin, Haley. I love this picture of them:

What would the 4th be without beauty pageants, raffles, family and fireworks??? :) Hope we get to go back next year.

Tick Tock by James Patterson

2011-07-09T10:58:00.003-05:00

#7

This James Patterson is one of the Michael Bennett series...my least favorite of the series books that Patterson writes. It wasn't bad but it wasn't one of "can't put it down" books either. It took me a little longer to read because I wasn't finding excuses to sit down and read because I couldn't wait to see what was happening next. Make sense?

Here is the book jacket if you are interested (from the James Patterson website):

NYC's #1 detective, Michael Bennett, has a huge problem—the Son of Sam, the Werewolf of Wisteria and the Mad Bomber are all back. The city has never been more terrified!

Tick—a killer's countdown begins, but...
A rash of horrifying crimes tears through the city, throwing it into complete chaos and terrorizing everyone living there. Immediately, it becomes clear that they are not the work of an amateur, but of a calculating, efficient, and deadly mastermind.

Tick—can Michael Bennett catch him before...
The city calls on Detective Michael Bennett, pulling him away from a seaside retreat with his ten adopted children, his grandfather, and their beloved nanny, Mary Catherine. Not only does it tear apart their first vacation since Michael's wife Maeve died—it leaves the entire family open to attack.

Tock—your time is up.
Bennett enlists the help of a former colleague, FBI Agent Emily Parker. As his affection for Emily grows into something stronger, his relationship with Mary Catherine takes an unexpected turn. All too soon, another appalling crime leads Bennett to a shocking discovery that exposes the killer's pattern and the earth-shattering enormity of his plan. From the creator of the #1 New York detective series comes the most volatile and most explosive Michael Bennett novel ever.

Today's Treasures

2011-07-08T10:24:00.003-05:00

Today was yard sale day. We woke up and hit all the local Friday sales. My finds are above - a pretty new lamp, 8 books for my classroom and 2 Christmas stockings. $32 was my total. Most was for the awesome lamp. :) But, I am most excited about the stockings. Now, Kevin & I will have one at Christmas too - not just the fur kids! ha! Below are Kevin's finds...for $2.05...clearly the winner for the day. 5 video games, 3 cookie sheets and 2 terrariums!!!

And, he's already hooked up Ms. PacMan and having a blast!!